https://mamasuncut.com/25-funny-tweets-from-moms-about-husbands-marriage/2020 tested us in so many ways but perhaps the one institution that suffered the most was our marriages. Although it was a rough year for them, people managed to laugh their way through the bitterness and joke on Twitter about their spouses. Funny marriage tweets were one of the few highlights of this dark year.
We decided to take a look back at the year in marriage tweets to bring you the funniest things people put online about their significant others. From stray observations to a full recounting of specific incidents, these spouses did not hold anything back and instead, allowed Twitter followers to join in on their voluntary misery. Stretch your neck and be prepared to nod a lot because many of these marriage tweets are the realest of the real.
Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing
If you are married, you know that selective hearing is part of the bargain. In order to preserve a matrimony, you have to ignore your spouse at times so that you do not commit a crime. However, this is a rather deep low.
Love Sounds Like
No one tells you this! But, mundane tasks your partner completes are truly what you are stuck living with for the rest of your life. So, if you do not like the way your boyfriend say, breathes, you should probably look for an exit instead of tying the knot.
A New Day
This marriage tweet, somehow, perfectly captures the ethos of 2020. Most days have been so grim that the thought of imaging the next one instead of taking every moment as it comes is threatening.
We are all doing the best we can and that includes marriage counselors. With so many problems larger than our petty squabbles to worry about, we would welcome a counselor who saw the weight of a marriage as pure fodder.
A Time and a Place
We know some of these marriage tweets are going to feel more personal than others for you, but if you have ever been with someone or, unfortunately, married someone who has a habit of doing this, you know how utterly frustrating it can be. It’s a warning sign!
Who among us has not passively aggressively cleaned by slamming dishes around or intentionally ramming a vacuum into sturdy furniture? Thus, the concept of rage vacuuming unifies us all.
Setting up a spouse for sabotage is all part of the game. Revenge is a dish best served cold so keep that toast from toasting, mama.
We all make mistakes but some are more unforgivable than others. Witness protection might be this husband’s best bet.
This could potentially be the smartest tweet about explaining marriage that we have ever seen. In fact, it is so perfect, we think all children should be taught about it in this exact way.
The One You Love
The concept of romance and the actual mechanics of making it happen are worlds apart. The idea was there but the execution failed as this wife shared on Twitter. Ineptitude is not romantic.
Dish on the Dishes
We all think we know best! But, let us tell you the person doing the criticizing here is 100% correct. In a marriage, there is a right and wrong way to do most things.
True love means not ending a life! Snooze buttons should be banned from any relationship as they are only intended for single people only.
Rehoming a husband can be a difficult task but once you admit to yourself it’s the right thing to do, you will thank yourself later. You want what’s best for him, after all.
Working From Home 2020:
For most of us, our personal and private lives collapsed into one seemingly endless slog in 2020. You might have thought you hated going into the office until after about that first month of working from home with your spouse. We all now know how good we had it.
Live Your Life
Some people are more detail-oriented than others and, in almost every marriage, one partner has their stuff together more than the other. It’s fine to admit this and to just roll with criticism.
You getting a cold > your husband getting a cold. If are fond of the idea of having another child, just wait until your spouse gets the flu. It will dissuade you.
For better or worse, your partner might actually enjoy the company of your family pet than any member of the family. If that has not happened yet in your own marriage, wait for it.
Take a Bow
Great advice. Who knew it was “too dramatic” to care about literally anything?
If you have ever found yourself in an IKEA with the one you love and you both make it out unscathed, you are in it for the long haul. “Going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach” is an apt metaphor for marriage.
Very early on in a marriage, you will notice that you and your partner have turned into arguing siblings who do not like to share. Learning to live your values and applying your standards is part of the journey. Do not suffer someone who does not neatly roll their tubes of past.
Cycles of a Marriage
Why do they do this? Why is this a thing? Once you become a significant other, you completely lose your sense of how sound works.
We do find it odd that people hang on to fallen teeth and locks of hair. Like, we get it, but if you think about it from the outside looking in, it is downright creepy.
Fetch the Bolt Cutters
Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters has proven itself THE album of the pandemic. We find the need to be free from distractions on that journey very attractive. Apple told Vulture, “This album is a lot of not letting men pit us against each other or keep us separate from each other so they can control the message.”
Probably not. People generally know exactly what they want and mean what they say more often than not.
Keep the Spark Alive
At least this person learned that their husband still cares. Granted, it might be about his spouse’s health than her sexual gratification. This is one hilarious marriage tweet. One of our favorites on this list!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Funny Mother’s Day Tweets in the Time of Coronavirus
Death to 2020
This tweet is a journey. We are all trying our best! This person was simply trying to be considerate and instead looked patently unhinged. We appreciate the commitment on display in this hysterical tweet.
There you go! We hope you enjoyed these hilarious tweets about marriage from 2020, the year that tested many of them. Keep your sense of humor and you will make it through unscathed.
Andrew is a Chicago-based writer who enjoys finding the best of the internet, obsessively making lists, and cooking for friends. After studying Film and Art History, he developed a deep love for both topics. Celebrity news, pop culture, and stories that bring people together are his passions.
- 1 Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing
- 2 Love Sounds Like
- 3 A New Day
- 4 Flattery
- 5 A Time and a Place
- 6 Rage Chores
- 7 Villainous
- 8 No Mistakes
- 9 Marriage Story
- 10 The One You Love
- 11 Dish on the Dishes
- 12 True Love
- 13 Allergies
- 14 Working From Home 2020:
- 15 Live Your Life
- 16 Checks Out
- 17 Priorities
- 18 Take a Bow
- 19 Astoundingly Accurate
- 20 Standards
- 21 Cycles of a Marriage
- 22 On Balance
- 23 Fetch the Bolt Cutters
- 24 A Test?
- 25 Keep the Spark Alive
- 26 Death to 2020
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.