A husband is asking Reddit for advice after his wife expressed interest in adopting a toddler from her family but the husband does not think it is a good idea, as they operate in an overwhelming amount of dysfunction.
“I’m in my early 30’s and my wife is in her late 20’s. We’ve been married for a few years and both work full-time with average paying jobs. We have 2 kids of our own already, both under the age of 3.”
The husband goes on tor reveal that while the couple does have some assets, due to the pandemic, money has been tight.
“We own our own home but money has been tight with my wife being out of work for months due to Covid. She’s just about to start a new job, however work in her industry is never very stable.”
And when it comes to his wife’s family, he has his reservations.
“My wife’s family lives a few states away, and she essentially moved here after finishing college for a job, and to escape their b******t. Her family is extremely dysfunctional and filled with alcoholics, drug addicts, and complete degenerates. She is the only one that has graduated college and actually made something out of her life.”
“My wife’s cousin had a child at the age of 17, and insisted on keeping him, despite everyone telling her that she shouldn’t.”
“Shortly after the kid was born, she took off and left the kid with my wife’s grandmother who is in her 80’s with a myriad of health issues and my wife’s uncle who lives on disability and can hardly take care of himself. There is no indication the mother will ever get her shit together, and no one knows where the father is.”
To which his wife had an idea.
“The kid is around 2 years old now. My wife brought up the idea of adopting him a few weeks ago after learning about her grandmothers’ failing health and her uncle’s inability to pick up the slack.”
“She’s concerned that the child will be destined to a life of misery, abuse, and neglect if he has to stay in his current situation, which I mostly agree with.”
But the husband was not to keen on the idea.
“She also is convinced that the foster care system is no better for the kid. As much as the situation completely and totally sucks, I don’t think it’s possible that we could take on a third child for so many reasons.”
“We’ve had a few arguments about it and I always come away feeling like a monster for not wanting to adopt him.”
The husband is not sure what to do next and asked the Reddit community to give their two cents on the situation.
One user chimed in with a sharp perspective: “If she divorces her husband and breaks up her family because he wants to provide a financially secure, stable home for his kids. She’s not just an a*****e to her kids and husband, she’s a moron. Everyone is a bleeding heart on the internet. But the dude lives in a real world and does what’s right for his family. Kid is 2. Plenty of families are happy to adopt a small kid.”
While another warned: “But be prepared that this is likely going to end up as a deal breaker for her. She doesn’t sound like she’ll be able to turn her back on a child who is family in need of a home. No one’s an asshole here, but you may very well end up divorced over this.”
What do you think? Comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.