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QUESTION: My Husband Invited a Friend Who I Can Only Take in Small Doses on a Trip That Was Supposed to Be Just the Two of Us: Advice?
“So Monday, my husband and I were supposed to be leaving for Alabama. We have to go pick up his mom and his sister. I’ve been looking forward to getting away from everything where we live.
It’s been a ton of drama, and I was just so happy to escape everyone for a few days. Well, today, things kind of went a little sideways with the rental car and whatnot, and now my husband is talking about bringing a friend with us. Also, a much smaller car than what we were originally looking at.
This friend is one of my best friends but is a major control freak and always has to be in charge. It was just supposed to be and my husband, and now I’m extremely upset. This means I’m stuck in the back of the car for 12 hours there and then stuck in the back of the car with two other people who are not small women for 12 hours back.
I wanted everything from home left behind so I could just enjoy things. But now I don’t even want to go. I told my husband that if we asked this person for any sort of advice or help that he’d want to come along. I love this person but I was really looking forward to it just being my husband and me the whole way down.
I told my husband my thoughts and opinions and how I was now really upset and didn’t want to go, and all he said was, ‘you’re coming with me.’ Am I wrong to be upset? I mean I’m grateful that this person is offering to help. But I can only handle this person in small doses. And trapped in a car with this person doesn’t sound appealing to me. I feel like I’m being selfish and acting like a baby about it but IDK…”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Uh… What makes him think he has the right to disregard your feelings and force you to go?”
“1) I wouldn’t be sitting in the back. 2) If that was his response when you told him how you felt, I would just stay home & relax by myself!!! Face mask, bubble bath, wine & a good book!!!”
“Give him an option… you or the friend go. He never asked you if it is ok for this friend to go along.”
“Who says you have to sit in the back seat. Sit up front!!!!”
“He invited your friend? First off uh no not ok second he didn’t even ask you. Yeah, I would be pissed especially if I just needed ‘me time’ with my husband.”
“Let them go and stay home alone and relax the whole time. Tell your husband he is turning a stress free trip into chaos for you. And you will not accept it. Period. He is your husband but he does not own you. You can stay home. If he really wants to make you happy. He will change the plans. You have every right to want alone time.”
“’You’re coming with me’ … Umm no I’m not. There are now 3 extra people going on a trip meant for the 2 of you in the middle of COVID. If you don’t want to go, stay home. You are an adult and don’t need his permission to stay. Tell him: you decided to invite all of them on our getaway without my input so I decided to stay home and let you enjoy your trip with your guests. Have fun.”
“See, I’m the type of person that if you TELL me I’m going to do something, I’m going to prove to you that I’m NOT. There’s no way I’d be going on that trip now. He wants to spend that much time with this friend, he can do it alone. Sorry bout your luck bud. Choose your wife next time.”
“Good Lord girl, get a grip. You call that friend and tell her she is not coming, thank you for offering but I want to be alone with the hubby right now. If she doesn’t like it too bad. Then when she doesn’t show up the day you leave for your trip, you can tell hubby you asked her not to come. If HE doesn’t like it too bad. While you’re on the road, grow some cojones!!!”
“So you became a third wheel to a family chore… It almost sounds like he wants you to turn down the trip… he already got himself a new shotgun!”
“Stay home. My husband left for three weeks. I was supposed to go on the airplane but backed out because of pandemic. I had a great time at home! Everyone needs some time alone especially with all the togetherness from this pandemic!! Watched what I wanted, ate what I wanted and did what I wanted!”
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