A mom writes in asking for advice about her husband. She says that her husband recently informed her he earned a promotion, which usually involves a ceremony. She asked him if she and their son should attend, and he told her that, due to COVID-19, they weren’t allowing family to attend these ceremonies. This mom learned from friends and social media that that doesn’t seem entirely true. So she confronted him, which caused an argument. Her thoughts are running wild about the reasons why he wouldn’t want her to be there, but is she overreacting?
A member of the community asks:
“Am I overreacting about my husband not wanting me at his promotion ceremony?
My husband is in the military, and he only has about six months left of his contract. Well, yesterday, he mentioned to me that he is getting promoted today. The family usually attends promotions, but he didn’t tell me to go. So I decided to ask him if my son and I were invited and he said that due to COVID, they weren’t letting family attend promotion ceremonies. His friend got promoted during lockdown (April), and his wife was there, and I have seen several pictures of people taking their families to promotions/reenlistments.
Well, he has not spoken to me since I confronted him yesterday. I’m thinking he is either embarrassed by me or he’s messing around with someone in his platoon. I need advice!!! Am I overreacting, and is it really not a big deal, or is it fishy that he doesn’t want me and his son to attend?”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Concerned About Why Her Husband Doesn’t Want Her to Attend His Military Promotion Ceremony
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“If he’s not talking to you because you asked a simple question, that’s concerning.”
“I’m in the military and have been promoted a handful of times- I’ve never had family attend. Typically promotion ceremonies are 5 minutes or less and to me, it seems silly to invite people just for that. The whole ‘messing around with someone’ in his platoon stuff gets old. No one wants your crusty husband.
“First off, I’m sensing some distrust and some insecurity. He mentioned the promotion to you, told you that family isn’t attending due to COVID, and your first thoughts are an affair or embarrassment? Heck, I wouldn’t even call to ‘check if it’s true’ and just take his word. If you don’t trust him, that’s a conversation for the 2 of you to have privately. Just be mindful that if he is being truthful, you’re calling his character into question and he will react negatively to that.”
“Me and my husband are both military, his command didn’t authorize me or the kids to go to his promotion due to COVID, and when my command advanced 4 guys in my shop they were also not authorized to have family/spouse attend. There are a lot of factors involved and things differ from command to command and state to state…
… I would not recommend contacting his command and being ‘that spouse,’ it wouldn’t look good for you or him, it’s likely that right now it’s not allowed, but if there is a civilian liaison that helps communicate between those attached to the command and their families then definitely reach out to them and ask the question! Also, you could also ask your husband to see if someone can video the promotion so you can still see it later, that’s what one of his coworkers did for me.”
“I’d call them myself and ask what the policy is first. Then if he’s lying, you’ll know something is going on. That seems very odd to me.”
“Honestly a lot has changed since April… so I wouldn’t be shocked if it was true.”
“Call his Command and ask yourself. You can keep it simple and just, in general, ask if family is currently allowed at promotion ceremonies without disclosing who you are. With all going on, no one may be allowed.”
“It really depends on which state you are in. My husband is military and we’re in MS and things have changed completely. I don’t think they’re allowing families at promotion ceremonies. I didn’t go to all of my husband’s promotion ceremonies. Sometimes they literally do them at lunch then go on about there day.”
“Honestly he probably doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it especially since he’s almost to the end of his contract… My husband hates doing the promotion ceremony and would rather not have them. It could also very well be due to COVID. I swear the military is changing their rules every day on this stuff.”
“They are only allowing the family to view the ceremony online here at Nellis. My husband said that’s pretty much what they are doing all across the Air Force. If you call his command, they will tell him you called and it will be embarrassing for him. Is your marriage worth losing over a promotion ceremony?”
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