my husband told me he wouldn't be with me if we didn't have kids: thoughts?

My Husband Told Me He Wouldn’t Be With Me If We Didn’t Have Kids: Thoughts?

A mom writes in asking for advice after her husband told her that the only reason why they are still together is because of their kids. The mom said she’s been carrying the load most of their lives together and she’s burnt out. Do you have any advice for this tired wife and mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“[My] husband of nine years told me, for the 2nd time this year, if it wasn’t for the kids, we wouldn’t be together right now. And he is very, very unhappy. How would you take that? My friend said it pretty much means he doesn’t love me. The reason he told me this was because I told him I’m sick of his gaming addiction and him not helping around the house with anything.

That just bringing home a paycheck doesn’t mean he has done his part as a dad and husband. And he thinks I need to get off my lazy ass and go to work also. I plan to this year, but he just makes me feel like I do nothing. I admit, I am depressed and burned out from carrying it all for so long that I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Whose Husband Says Their Just Together for the Kids

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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One commenter shared, “I think you guys should sit down and talk it out. Maybe talk about going to couples therapy and seeing if that helps. I give you props for wanting to start work soon. Being a SAHM isn’t easy because you literally don’t get a break. Don’t listen to the negativity. I don’t think your instant solution should be to leave but try to get to the root of the problem and try to fix it. If it can’t be fixed then take whatever step is best for you and the kids. Good luck, my dear.”

And another person added, “I’d be heartbroken if my husband said that to me. I’d either say let’s go to counseling or we need to separate. Kids know when mom and dad are unhappy. Your children need to see happy healthy people even if y’all aren’t together. A decision needs to be made soon because your children need it.”

And one mom wrote, “Maybe it’s time to make a plan for a way out. If you all are not happy together and there really is no turning things around. I wouldn’t waste your time with him another day. You can both parent without being together. It sounds like he has some growing up to do.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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