Breastfeeding can be wonderfully challenging for many reasons but can be made even more difficult by people’s reactions to your feeding routine.
One new mom, who gave birth four months ago, wrote on Reddit about an unexpected issue she’s having with managing breastfeeding at home. She wrote that her husband is supportive of breastfeeding, but isn’t feeling the same way about the fact that she wears a bra around the house to make it easier to feed the baby.
“I breastfeed my baby about 5 times a day and sometimes get up in the middle of the night to do it,” the new mom wrote on Reddit. “My husband is in charge of paying our bills and so far he’s been doing a good job. My husband comes from a very religious background, he goes to church every Sunday and he sometimes even takes the baby with him. As for me, I’m not very religious so I prefer to stay home.”
“About two years ago, when we moved in together, he made sure to throw out almost all of my clothes that he found inappropriate,” she continued. “This included spaghetti strap tops, any over-the-shoulder tops, bikinis, skirts, short dresses, and even some bras. I still love my husband, I really do, but sometimes he can get too bossy.”
Husband Tells Breastfeeding Mom He Doesn’t Think She Should Walk Around Their Newborn Baby Half Naked
The woman explained that she felt fine about his requested changes to her attire, but became frustrated when he commented on what she was wearing while breastfeeding the baby. After wearing a bra around the house for a bit, her husband asked why she was always “half-naked.”
“He asked me to stop doing it because I was exposing my body to our child,” she said. “I tried telling him that he was wrong, but he said that our baby should remain innocent. […] I honestly stopped trying to convince him that I was right (I still believe I’m right),” the new mom continued. “And I’m still doing it behind his back, but I do feel that I’m not being truthful to him.”
She asked the Reddit community if they thought she was wrong for wearing a bra around the house and the vast majority agreed that her husband was making too big of a deal about her clothing choice.
“Your husband has some serious issues,” one person said. “Feeding a baby from your naked breast, much less wearing a bra around them is not going to spoil their ‘innocence.’ The only real danger to the baby here is your husband’s 18th-century worldview.”
Others voiced concern that the husband was being emotionally abusive with his controlling comments. “Controlling what you wear and how you look is a very common form of abuse,” one said. “Let me guess, he controls when you go out and who with, or who you speak to and when too? If not, it will come. (Trust me I have been there.) I wish you luck because you are going to need it I’m afraid.”
And as one person noted, “He’s aware that the baby came out of you right?”
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.