A mom writes in asking for advice about a situation involving her husband’s family. She says her husband’s family, her in-laws, invited him to join them for a fishing trip. No problem, right? Well, the thing is that his family is paying the way for everyone involved in the trip… But they told this mom that if she wants to go, she has to shell out $1,500. She is wondering if she is overreacting, but ultimately she just feels hurt and excluded. What should she do?
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A member of the community asks:
“Do I have a right to feel left out by my husband’s family?“
“My husband’s family invited him to join them for a fishing trip. It’s a place he’s never been. I’m excited that he gets to go w them. But what I’m having a problem with is that his parents are paying everyone’s way, including 2 of his son’s friends to go, but the only way I could go is if I came up with 1500 dollars.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing or what? Because I’m feeling extremely left out and hurt that everyone gets to go but me. What do I do? Because I am very excited that he’s going bc he’s always wanted to go and never got to because of work issues. I have been very supportive and helping him pack and letting him talk about it. But inside it kills me that I can’t go. “
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Feels Left Out and Hurt Because Her Husband’s Family Excluded Her from a Trip
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Your husband is in the wrong for not thinking of even asking if you wanted to go, or asking his parents why you are being left out. I’d be pissed.”
“My husband wouldn’t have gone if I couldn’t go. Period.”
“I’m not married… but if my boyfriend’s family went on a trip and he knew they didn’t want to include me unless I paid 1500 dollars he wouldn’t go. Because that’s just him.”
“You have a right to feel however you feel, but that is their money and they can spend it or not spend it any way they want. Honestly, it sounds like you’re acting like a spoiled child who isn’t getting their own way.”
“Sounds like you’re saying your husband, both of his parents, your stepson (you said “his son”) and their friends are invited and paid for. So it’s not a guy’s trip, it is a family trip. The kid’s friends are invited, stepmom is not. I would feel like they weren’t accepting me as part of the family. My biggest problem would be, why TF is husband ok with it?”
“I would go to the organizer of that trip and ask, ‘How come I am the only person that is expected to pay my own way? Do you have a problem with me?’ I would want everyone one present! I could never have done this when I was younger, but now I see that speaking up does a lot of clearing up!”
“This falls under the same category as ‘What other people say about me is none of my business.’ Because you have been made aware that others were not asked to contribute money to go, it’s obvious they wanted you to know that fact. I say if you want to go… call their bluff and pay your own way as if you would have expected this from the get-go. Trust me, it will bother them more than you know. And smile, smile, smile!!!!”
“How rude alright! I’d be pretty gutted for sure. But if they are going to be like that would you wanna go on a trip with them? I would definitely tell your husband how your feeling and that it is so bloody ratsh** of them (because it is!). But like others have said, maybe take this time to get your girlfriends together or go solo and do something extravagant.”
“Out of curiosity…. other than your husband’s mother, is it an all-guy fishing trip? You mentioned, your husband, his brother, and friends… it may be that its more a boy’s trip, and leaving you out is more of an oversight than anything.”
“I don’t understand how friends get paid for but spouses don’t? I don’t have self-control like that so I would have definitely bitched but told him to go because he wants to. Everyone deserves a break, but it’s still not right, and I would have brought that up. If you’re someone who likes to prove a point start doing your own things and exclude them. Maybe they will get the picture.”
“You have every right to feel the way you do. I personally would just save my money and go to a dang spa to have some personal momma time and enjoy the silence and peace.”
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