Kellan Lutz‘s wife, Brittany (Gonzales) Lutz, shared an update to Instagram about what life looks like after losing their baby to miscarriage at 6-months pregnant.
The 31-year-old shared a post to Instagram on Sunday after attending church with her husband announcing how she has been working on allowing herself to feel the emotions of losing her daughter, along with making moments for joy to peek through.
“After tragedy or heartache it can be tempting to shut down so you don’t feel pain. Aka survival mode. But when you shut yourself off to pain, you also shut yourself off to the things that can bring you joy too,” she posted to Instagram. “I’ve done that in the past. More than once. I can tell you from experience it takes a LOT of work to soften your heart after you’ve let it go hard.”
“Throughout the last two weeks I’ve worked SO hard to remain soft,” Gonzales went on to share. “As much as I’m tired of falling apart, and want to be done finding myself crying in a ball on the floor, if I allowed myself to fall into the temptation to shut down, I know I’d be missing those special moments that have made me smile and laugh and feel happy again.”
One such moment happened this past Sunday when the couple was walking home after church.
“Today Kel and I were walking after church and I saw this sidewalk full of hearts,” Gonzales wrote. “Instead of being numb to avoid all the things that remind me of being pregnant just two short weeks ago, I was able to see a sidewalk full of hearts as a little hug for my heart letting me know God’s got us. He’s not done writing my story. Like my doctor said the day I found out our sweet baby girl didn’t have a heartbeat anymore: ‘This isn’t the end of your story. This is just a crappy chapter, but you’re going to get through this.’ ”
She then encouraged others, ending the post with: “If you’re having a crappy chapter, this isn’t the end of your story either! You’re gonna get through this. But keep your soft heart! The world needs it!”
Our thoughts continue to be with Kellan and Brittany Lutz as they grieve their heartbreaking loss.
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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