I’m Worried Having Kids 10 Years Apart Will Cause a Big Rift: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice about age gaps. She wants to hear from other moms who have kids who are several years or more apart. She just found out she is pregnant and is concerned that her daughter, who will be 10 when the new baby arrives, will view the baby as “a major rift… instead of a blessing.” So she asks other moms: How is it having kids who are 10 years apart? What advice do they have that might ease her anxiety?

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A member of the community asks:

“How is it having kids 10 years apart?”

“I just found out I’m pregnant. My kids would be ten years apart. I foresee this being viewed as a major rift for my daughter instead of a blessing. Does anyone have advice? Anyone have kids ten years apart? How’s it going??”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Concerned About Having Kids 10 Years Apart

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionHow is it having kids 10 years apart?I just found out I'm pregnant. My kids would be ten years apart. I…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Advice Summary

I'm Worried Having Kids 10 Years Apart Will Cause a Big Rift: Advice?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“I am 14 years older than my brother who was born with special needs. I was almost a mother figure to him & worked with him medically from a young age. I love him to bits, but I would say to be careful about the amount of responsibility that is put on your daughter, that it isn’t overwhelming.”

“My sister is 13 years older than me. She left as soon as she could and never looked back. I mean I see her and stuff now, but when I was a kid she was in college. She was off doing her own thing. She is more a mother or aunt figure to me than my sister. I feel like I was an only child. But that’s just my experience. My son will be 9 in 12 days and I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant. We wanted another sooner so they wouldn’t be so far apart but I had three miscarriages.”

“There are 12 years between me and my sister. We are closer than my other siblings that are only a few years difference. She was like a second mum to me and because I was still young when she had children they were like siblings.”

“My brother and I are 8 years apart and he was always making time for little sister. I feel like we have a closer relationship than siblings that are 1/2 years apart.”

“My sister and I are ten years apart and have always had a great relationship! When she was a baby I loved helping and she has always tagged along with my friends and me. Now that’s she’s in college we are even closer!”

“My girls have two big sisters and a brother that are 10 years older than them. They absolutely adore their bigger siblings. It’s all in how you treat them equally and love them as individuals.”

“I have 22-year-old twin boys, a 13-year-old daughter and now have a 2-year-old son. I’ve gone through this twice! I got pregnant at 20… 29 and again at age 40. We have a close family and although my boys are out on their own they are still very much excited to spend time with their baby brother. And are also close with their teen sister. Every family dynamic is different. My kids enjoy each other and it works for us!”

“I have a 19-year-old daughter and almost 9 years old son. They are so close it’s amazing. She has helped with him since the day he was born.”

“My son and daughter are 10 years apart… almost to the day. Anyway, it’s been really great. He is so sensitive to her and loves to care for her and loves her big brother. All children handle things differently. Praying that the experience is wonderful for you and your babies!”

“My late sister was 16 years older than me. Growing up she was my idol and my absolute best friend. The loyalty & bond between us was incredible.”

“Mine are 12 years apart and it’s actually amazing. My daughter who is 12 and a half loves to help with her baby brother (6 weeks old), whether it’s making a bottle he’s fussy, learning to change diapers, picking him up when he cries, walks him around the house, and keeping him occupied while I cook dinner or clean. I think they will have an amazing bond forever.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

Over on the Answers by Mamas Uncut forum, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.

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