My Four Kids Are Constantly Fighting with Each Other: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice about her four kids. She says that as an only child, she always wanted a big family. So she had four kids, who range in age from 4 to 18. The problem? They are constantly fighting. They name call, argue, and are sometimes straight-up cruel. It breaks this mom’s heart, and she wants to know if it’s normal behavior and/or if her kids will eventually grow out of this contentious stage.

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A member of the community asks:

“My kids are constantly fighting: Advice?

I was an only child so I always knew I wanted a big family. I have 5 children ages 18, 15, 13, 9, and 4. My problem is all they ever do is fight and argue. They constantly call each other names or just be mean sometimes even extremely cruel.

My question us, is this normal? I thought they would be more like friends but all of them act like they can’t stand each other and it breaks my heart! Is this something they will grow out of or will it always be this way?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Whose Four Kids Are Constantly Fighting Each Other

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionMy kids are constantly fighting: Advice? I was an only child so I always knew I wanted a big family. I…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Friday, May 22, 2020

Advice Summary

My Four Kids Are Constantly Fighting with Each Other: Advice?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“All my kids’ lives, I thought my oldest hated his twin little brothers. Then they got a bully at elementary school, and my oldest (in middle school) started showing up to their school to confront their bully and walk them home because no one was gonna pick on them. They fight each other, but they will always protect each other.”

“It’s normal. I come from a family of 9. Lots of fights, arguing. Everyone wants to be heard. It gets better when they get older. Keep instilling morals, respect, and love through the madness.”

“I’m 1 of 7 and we fought all the time. We got into some scraps, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. It’s normal. just be sure to step in when things start getting out of hand.”

“Spray bottle with vinegar water. If that doesn’t work, shut the internet off.”

“Yep, so freaking normal. It’ll stop… when they grow up and move out.”

“All my children do as well. I have 4 of them. I make them work together (doing schoolwork, chores, or a task) and so far I think their relationships have improved but we’re still not all the way there to not fighting. Good luck!”

“I think it’s kinda normal, my kids do the same! But my oldest has been at my sister’s for a few weeks, and now they video chat all day. They miss being cruel to each other I guess.”

“I feel like it’s pretty normal honestly. I have 6 soon to be 7, ages 11, 10, 9, 6, 2 and 1…. and let me tell you they argue, yell and bicker a lot. I can say when we do family things that it seems to be better. Like going to the beach, hiking, etc where they have to be physically active together. Driving in the car and cooking and cleaning together… no so much.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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