A mom writes in asking for advice about a situation with her ex’s fiancée. She says she has been forced to deal directly with the fiancée, who is “in complete control” and who has apparently made co-parenting impossible. The fiancée allegedly records phone calls, refers to this mom’s kids as her own kids, says horrible things about this mom in front of the kids, among other things. How should she handle this?
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A member of the community asks:
“My ex’s fiancée will not let us co-parent: Advice?
I have a question that I’d like posted. I’ve been divorced for five years. I have 6 children, my youngest two daughters are 13 and 14. My ex is engaged. His fiancée. won’t let us co-parent. She is in complete control. I’m to deal with her directly not him. She records conversations, she refers to herself as my kid’s mom and my children are her children. She says horrible things about me in front of my kids. I’m tired of being disrespected, called names, having half my kids turned against me, because of her. I didn’t know I was in a polygamist marriage, at one time, but this is pretty much what it looks like. I’m tired of it though and I don’t know what to do.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Ex’s Fiancée Has Ruined Their Co-Parenting Relationship
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Only the court will help. Courts always lean toward the biological mum. Good luck.”
“Lawyer. Up. Girl.”
“Speaking as a step-mother, I never wanted to come between my husband and his child! I knew going into our relationship he had a child from a previous marriage and I was never intimidated by it. I never fought with her mother and they were always on the same page when it came to raising her. I stood in the background and spoke my mind to him. It sounds to me like they have some trust issues in their relationship they need to sort out. If it were me I would refuse to have any communication with her. You need to put your foot down and let her know who runs the show with your children… if you don’t she will continue. Unfortunately, he has to be a man and stand up to her as well and let her know that trashing you in front of your children is unacceptable. If it doesn’t change I would seek legal action and let them know you mean business!”
“Your ex needs to grow a pair.”
“Don’t do all this lawyer junk just yet. Stand your ground as the mother. She doesn’t have that opinion… make her know this. As for the ex… tell him too. When you guys have info to give each other… then solely each other. Text him when he is at work… be an adult.”
“You aren’t obligated to speak her about anything, let alone your children. Stop all communication with her. I guarantee things will change real quick”
“Have you talked to your ex about this? If so what does he have to say? If not why haven’t you expressed your concerns to him?”
“Refuse to talk to her. I wouldn’t. You need to set them straight and make it clear that if anything needs to be said about the kids, it is between you and your ex. Tell him to grow a set.”
“You don’t have to speak to her. If he wants to be involved let him contact you. Don’t respond to her at all.”
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