Before she became a stay-at-home mom, she used to judge stay-at-home moms for not working. But when Bridgette Anne ended up becoming a stay-at-home mom herself, she quickly realized the job isn’t for the faint of heart.
Now in a viral Facebook post, Bridgette began by saying, “everyone thinks being a stay-at-home mom full time is easy.” As Bridgette wrote, people think that “we are lucky to be able to not have to work, we are lazy, and that it’s not ‘real’ work so we have nothing to complain about.”
☝️ everyone thinks being a stay at home mom full time is easy. — that we are lucky to be able to not have to work. —…
Posted by Bridgette Anne on Thursday, January 30, 2020
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But as the mom also pointed out, that’s far what being a stay-at-home mom entails. In fact, as she revealed, it entails so so much more.
“The truth is…it’s f**king lonely and overwhelming. You can’t do anything by yourself; go to the bathroom, enjoy a cup of coffee, read, hell you can’t even scrub the shit out of pants for the 3rd time in a day without someone crying or screaming at your leg.”
As Bridgette went on to explain, as a stay-at-home mom it’s impossible to get a break. And on the off chance that she does get a break, typically when her kids are sleeping, “you use that time to clean up.”
And like many people, even those who aren’t typically stay-at-home parents, are dealing with right now, “you struggle to come up with ways to entertain someone for literally 12 hours a day every day. You wear the same clothes that smell like sweat and tears for days at a time because it’s already stained and no use in ruining more clothes.”
“You forget what it means or feels like to be an individual; because your entire existence now revolves around that child.”
In fact, it’s easy when you’re a stay-at-home mom to be jealous of other working moms. “You look at working moms and get jealous,” Bridgette continued, “Because you wish you could have an excuse to have an adult conversation without being interrupted.”
And there are even moments when stay-at-home moms reach a breaking point and they have to lock themselves “in the bathroom and scream into a towel while crying because you need a second to breathe; all while a child is banging on the door to get in…”
“Let that sink in, most of us [stay-at-home moms] don’t even have the luxury to cry and be frustrated in peace…”
“And when we do break down people question it,” Bridgette wrote, “Like what do you have to cry about you get to sit home all day.”
“I was one of those people who judged SAHMs,” she admitted. “But I get it now. The people who said they’d be there to help have all but disappeared, and you’re left with this overwhelming sense of failure. My house isn’t clean, I’m not clean, the dishes aren’t done, I have screamed already today, I have cried, and I have felt so damn guilty that my child was here to witness it.”
“I am alone and I am lonely.”
And other stay-at-home moms used the comments section of Bridgette’s post to let her know she’s not alone. “I do it every day with a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and 11-month-old and they’re all boys!! Somedays, I feel will I make it one more day? And I always do but I sometimes wish I didn’t as well!! Everything said is true and isn’t at all easy ever!! I can’t wait till school is back in, even the half-day my 4-year-old goes helps,” one commenter wrote. “Hang in there, chic, you’re not alone!!”
“I know how she feels. I raised 4 kids,” another mom wrote. “And I’m still insane it doesn’t get any better until they move out you have to take one day at a time if you want to talk look me up.” While a few others thought stay-at-home moms should just be grateful for all the extra time they have with their kids.
At the end of her post, Bridgette encouraged those who know any stay-at-home moms to check in on them because “we are NOT okay.”
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