A single mom writes in looking for information on how to sign her children’s father’s rights away. He asked to sign his rights away since his new wife felt it was better for him.
A Community Member asks:
“Hi well, I had a question, I have two kids a 1.5-year-old boy and an almost-four-year-old girl. When I was pregnant with my second I left their dad due to cheating. We were living in Mexico with him and when that happened I moved back to Colorado. He stayed with the girl and had their son a month ago.
He called me today saying that he and his wife thought it was better for him to sign away his rights since he is on their birth certificates, and I would need signed letters from him for like passports, school, traveling, etc. and he doesn’t want any more contact with us. I said, yes it was better that way since he doesn’t call or help and hasn’t seen my kids for a year.
My question is, how do I start that process? Do I have to get a lawyer? Can he be removed from their birth certificates and have his last name removed too? And if it’s possible to remove his last name, should I? I don’t think it’s fair to do that to my kids, but my family is saying by signing his rights it means he doesn’t care.”
Community Advice for the Single Mom Looking to Sign Away the Father’s Rights to His Children Per His Request
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this single mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Here are some responses from the community:
“In WV you have to have another adult/spouse ready to step up and take 100% responsibility for the children. I went through this 1.5 years ago. Its a process and cost us around 1,500 to do so. Need to have a home study with the sheriff and he will check the hone and make sure it’s safe, then go over your financial information and speak to the children if appropriate.”
“It depends on the state. When I did it with my son’s dad I didn’t have to have another man to take his place. Just hired a lawyer, and they sent him the paperwork, he signed it, I and my lawyer went in front of a judge presented our case and she signed off on it.”
“Google your local laws. In many states, a parent is not ALLOWED to sign their rights off unless there is a new spouse in place to adopt the children. And a lot of states want you and the new spouse to be married for at least a year to show commitment.”
“You have to have someone that can adopt (in most states rather be family or husband) them so if something were to happen they had that second person that is capable of raising them. You need an attorney. My husband and I did this same process about 2 years ago. The donor wanted no rights. It’s a spendy process. I wish you luck.”
“From what I have learned from getting information from lawyers is someone must be willing to adopt the child…and usually, they won’t do a name change after the child has already started kindergarten.“
“That is so sad for the children and so many women know how to do this stuff end of the day all your doing really is giving up child support because you can sign what you want it doesn’t change the bio.”
I think the community did a good job with the advice they gave. Each state is different in its laws, but they all can provide the best way to do this. In some cases, you don’t really have to do anything but in the case where you want his name off of the birth certificate, I would start there.
It was mentioned that he may not be able to sign away his rights, and if that is the case, maybe he could just write a letter of what he wants and get it notarized so that if you need his signature you are able to use that as a legal document. Of course, this is all information based on opinions not on facts, so do your research. Hopefully, you can get the answers you need by reaching out to your state office or an attorney.
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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