A mom writes in asking for advice about intimacy after giving birth. These new parents welcomed their daughter just over a month ago via C-section. Now that six weeks have passed, she says her husband, who has been understanding, has started pushing for intimacy. She’s up for it sometimes, but with the new baby schedule, she is finding it a struggle. She wants to hear from other moms about how they found time to be intimate with their partners so soon after a new baby.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Ever Since Having Kids, I Have Trouble Enjoying Intimacy: Advice?
A member of the community asks:
“How do you mamas find time to be intimate?
I just had my daughter on June 11th. I had it via C-section, so I couldn’t have anything in my vagina for six weeks. My husband knew it was coming and understood completely.
He now knows times up and wants sex/sexual favors. I don’t mind sometimes, but obviously, it’s after kids are asleep, which is after 11 most nights, then I’m up between 3 and 5 am taking care of the baby. The question is, how do you moms find time to have sex?”
Community Advice for New Parents Who Wants to Find Time for Intimacy After Giving Birth
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“I’m always the one wanting it. I’m pretty sure 10 minutes after my water broke I was like wait wait wait its guna be a few weeks come play quick and he was like NO HORN BALL BACK OFF. Little one wasn’t even 2 weeks and I pretty much attacked him. (LO was born July 9th) we have 8 kids. Quickies in the bathroom, night time, morning time, in the shower… I’ll take him where ever whenever I can get him!”
“I might be shamed for this but… if baby is happy and calm on the floor we’d sneak off. If crying started, we’d hurry to finish and go get him. Sometimes waiting until baby is asleep is just a never-ending waiting game because once LO is asleep now you’re passed out and no one is getting any. Haha.”
“If you don’t feel up to it, don’t feel obligated to just because he wants it. It’s like an oven. Just because the timer went off doesn’t mean the pizza’s done. If he cares about you, he’ll understand. If you want it, sometimes you have to make time. If you have a pretty good routine down, you can ‘schedule’ it. I know it sounds weird, but my OB recommended that for us, and it helps some.”
“First, get those kids to bed by 8 pm lol. I’m 41 and I have 2 daughters and just had our son 4 months ago. But we still do it quite often lol. Just anytime we can sneak it in we do. Just yesterday we agreed to finally tackle the garage and organize it. Best believe we got a quicky in that garage while the baby napped. Other times I’ll ask for a towel in the shower just to get him in there with me for a few lol. You just find a way. Sure I’m tired a lot, but being intimate with my spouse is also a nice stress relief for me too.”
“It’s not so much the time as it is energy!”
“Your hormones and body are still in recovery. With time, y’all will get back into the groove. Just be transparent and voice how you’re feeling. Having babies is a game-changer, just know that this season shall pass and you’ll have the energy again!”
“I honestly don’t know if I can explain it any better then what’s already been stated. You get it where you can. Its sex in the shower, or a quickie when there napping or safe and content.”
“Honest if the kids are content and safe, we will sneak off to the bedroom for a quickie. Or I’ll wake him up around 2 or 3 am and have a great time that’s always very intimate. Or after we lay kids down and just go to the bedroom and do the deed lol. Sometimes it’s not so romantic. But I also only see my husband on weekends cause he’s a trucker. And I’m good with a quickie cause I have severe insomnia and the only time I really sleep is when he’s in bed with me. And well he’s beat from work all week and running around when he gets home on a Saturday.”
“‘Little Baby Bum’ is always the answer!”
“Naptime, bedtime, whenever baby is sleeping. I will say though that it didn’t happen near as often when my son was under 7-8 months old and still not sleeping super long. We coslept and stopped that at 10 months and have sex more regularly since then. It’s easier whenever your baby is a little older and sleeping more.”
“You don’t find time, you MAKE time!”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.
Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.
Mamas Uncut is the place for moms online. We cover the latest news around motherhood and parenting, plus entertainment news as well – all with a mom-focused twist. Looking for parenting advice? We have plenty of it, all for moms, from moms. Our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for. We don’t stop there though, we have expert advice on a range of topics, and all of our categories get updated multiple times a day, so if there’s one website for moms you need to bookmark, it’s Mamas Uncut. We cover it all, from the latest and trendiest baby names, in the US and all over the world, to advice for moms in the workplace, or mom to mom advice on balancing it all. Looking for an answer to a specific question you’ve have? Head over to our new answers section, where you can ask questions on a nearly endless amount of topics, and you’ll get answers fast – really fast. Mamas Uncut is more than just the place for moms, it’s the community of moms – all here to help, make friends, and more. Not sure where to start? Take a look at one of our key topic areas like Pregnancy or Relationships – if you’re looking for advice on a specific topic, there’s a pretty good chance that we’ve already written on it (a few times), or that it’s within our answers section. If you don’t have time to read the site every day, we also have a newsletter that you can control how often you want to receive – that way we send all of the must-see content for moms directly to your inbox – it’s that easy. So go ahead and take a look around, ask a question, or just keep reading, we’re glad you’re here.