A mom writes in asking for advice about whether she should end her relationship with the father of her child. She says she and her father’s child have been separated for five months, and during this time, he has been sleeping around. Moreover, he hasn’t seen their child since Christmas, and he may have abusive tendencies. Is it time for this mom to move on?
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A member of the community asks:
“How do you know when it’s time to give up on your relationship?
Can you post without my name, please? I have a tough decision to make. When you do give up on the one you love and the father of your baby? We haven’t been together for five months; he is dealing with the breakup by sleeping around with loads of woman, he hasn’t seen our son since Christmas, he wanted a DNA test done, accused me of cheating which I didn’t, we got the results the baby is his. One minute he is saying he loves me, the next he is calling me a dirty slag. What do I do?? He does have mental health conditions.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Know If It Is Time for Her to End Her Relationship
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Know your worth, I’m sure its more than this. No woman deserves to be played with or called hurtful names. Emotional abuse is a thing. You have to do what is best for the baby… and it sounds like your life would be a lot less stressful without him in it.”
“It’s time to split. Start anew. Totally bad situation. You must get out before its too late.”
“Move on. It sounds very toxic. And you’ll waste your life away waiting for him to change. Someone out there will love you and your son unconditionally!! You and your son both deserve better! You have to put yourself first even if it’s hard. It will get better over time. You want your son to grow up seeing a happy mother and seeing you loved and treated properly.”
“Speaking from experience – Leave and don’t look back. Don’t waste years and years like I did making excuses for him. You and your baby deserve better.”
“Sounds like he’s got some stuff to deal with before he’s someone stable you want to have a baby around. If he didn’t want to breakup, banging other chicks is a funny way of showing you he’s Mr. Right? Girl you CANNOT ever make anyone do something that they don’t want to do. He’s unable to be your partner or a dad right now…
… So I don’t know if he needs meds, treatment, or whatever but you have to love him from afar and want the best for him. You don’t need to be verbally abused or whatever because you’re not responsible for his personal issues. It’s sad and hard but you need to tell him what he needs to do and then have some boundaries. You have to be ok for the baby. You can give up now but if it’s meant to be love finds a way. If he wants to be there for you guys he’ll do what he needs to. Good luck. Nothing is worse than being in limbo.”
“I know it hurts that he is sleeping with others but y’all are broken up. Pushing that aside, he hasn’t seen his child since Christmas and he KNOWS it’s his kid?? Yeah, leave him for good. If a parent isn’t even willing to see their child just because they broke up with the other parent, well that’s no parent at all…
… Tell him if he wants to see his child he can take you to court, and since you (hopefully) have proof he hasn’t seen his child, you will most likely be granted what you ask for. Mental health conditions or not, if he is financially able and close enough to see his child, he should be at his own will.”
“You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves! He needs to find the change himself and if he can’t see what he is doing to you is wrong, he’ll never change. Move on with your life… don’t waste your energy.”
“I had two exes (notice not currents) that pulled this. No one deserves the jerking around. The one would get mad when I would try to move on. The other would use his kids against me knowing I loved them. It’s time to move on. There is no staying for the kids when it is toxic.”
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