A mom writes in asking for advice about when she might start dating again. This single mom, who has a 13-month-old baby, hasn’t dated anyone since she was six months pregnant. She says her last relationship was bad, but she has recently started feeling open to the idea of letting someone new into her (and her baby’s) life. She asks the community for advice about when people in similar situations knew they were ready to date, the best ways to meet potential partners, and more.
A member of the community asks:
“When did you know you were ready to start dating again?
So I have a non-baby question. As of the last few weeks, I’m starting to feel “almost” ready, not there just yet but almost ready, to get back to dating. My daughter is 13 months and I haven’t dated or anything since I was 6 months pregnant. I wanna know how long you waited to date?
I’m very much a homebody, so if anyone can let me know where they started at with finding someone? And also when did you know you were ready? Also, when do you think it’s appropriate to date? I’m at this crossroads because I’m still not there yet, but also breastfeeding. I’m gonna wait for sure till after I’m done breastfeeding my baby, then I will try to get back into the swing of dating.
Just wanted some stories, advice, and maybe ideas on how to get back into this. I was in a bad relationship last time and well, I’m very scared of trying, yet I am open to trying. Plus my family and friends all want me to at least try when I’m ready instead of closing myself off to the possibility, which I have done since my ex hurt me. I’m just now coming into the idea and wanna know what you guys think.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Know If It Is the Right Time for Her To Start Dating Again
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“For me, it was 4 years. I knew because I focused on myself and my kids and then one day I was just like ‘yeah, it’s time.'”
“Don’t use online dating apps. They’re the worst and the men see it as a casual sex and hook-up app. Take it at a comfortable pace. Hey, ya never know. You just may meet the man of ya dreams on a diaper or food run.”
“Your mind, body & soul will let you know when it’s time. But please don’t go to bars if at all possible. There are a lot of good loving singles in the churches (if you believe and go to church – no judgment if not) and as one other person stated know your game plan before stepping out in that world again considering you have been not so lucky – I’ve been there myself on that part. You will know sweetie… Good luck and I truly hope you find the one God will choose for you.”
“My boy is 18 months, left his dad when he was 5 months, and have just met someone recently. Didn’t think I was ready yet, but we just clicked and it felt right. You’ll know hun.”
“Just want to share my happy story because a lot of these seem kind of discouraging… I started dating my fiancé a little over a year after I had my son. I didn’t even know I was ready to date again until we started talking…
… I went out for my friend’s birthday party and he was there and we spent the whole night talking and had our first date the next day. I would say that when it’s right you’ll know.. as for how to get back into the dating scene, try to go out with some friends. You could also try online dating, I know quite a few people that have meet their significant other through online dating. Good luck mama!!!”
“You’ll know! I was a single mom to two! TWO younglings! I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to date someone, or honestly find someone that would want to date someone with 2 kids! Someone walked into my life unexpectedly & my girls and I haven’t had anything but PURE happiness. Happiness like this I legit thought was only in movies! Fast forward 2 years later and I still feel so blessed & happy & my babies are super happy which is most important!!”
“I think it’s 100% a personal choice. I personally moved on rather quickly. Me and my daughters’ dad were having issues from the moment I told him I was pregnant (we had only been together a month or 2 before we found out I was pregnant) so we broke up while I was still pregnant (about 3/4 months pregnant)…
… About a month later someone was showing interest and he was super sweet and was showing me he was willing to help me raise my little girl and wanted to be there even tho I was pregnant and expecting someone else’s child… At first I wasn’t sure I didn’t want to rush into anything but he kept proving to me it was what he wanted and that he was going to stick by me and my daughter no matter what, I knew if I made him wait that there may be a chance he found someone else he clicked with or just generally gave up on trying…
… We got together when I was about 5 and a half months pregnant my daughter came 10 weeks early (a month into my new relationship) and my partner was incredible, he came to see her daily in hospital, wanted to change her nappy and 100% be apart of her life, we have now been together over 2 years and I am so happy that I trusted my gut and didn’t listen to those who said “I moved on too quickly” it’s a personal choice on when you think you’re ready or if you find the right person.”
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