A single mom writes to us and says she’s losing her mind trying to take care of everything alone. We turn to the Mamas Uncut community for some really great advice for single moms from other single moms.
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers. Let’s hear from the community!
A member of our community asks:
“How do all of you single mommas do it? I just became a single momma, and it’s so hard I feel like I’m losing my mind. Any tips? Also, no judgement please! I’m just a momma trying to be the best for her baby.– Mamas Uncut Community Member
The Mamas Uncut Facebook community came prepared with some really great advice for single moms:
Hang in There; It Gets Easier
“I’ve been raising two by myself for a year. The first couple months I cried so much it was beyond overwhelming, but you adjust. Hang in there.”
“My youngest is 32, and every year that his dad was not around, I felt some kind of weird thing. You and your child/children have to live on. Live your best life, who knows what will happen in the future. You’re new to this hope it gets better. He called early this morning (our son is also a dad) and they’re doing what they do.”
“It takes time. You don’t just wake up and find everything easy. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Some days you’ll feel like giving up but you just keep pushing through. It’s overwhelming and stressful but worth the extra effort it takes to be mom and dad. You got this.”
“Beginning is the hardest. It gets easier to cope with. Work hard, spend time with kids, make time for yourself and never forget you are strong.”
Take It One Day at a Time
“It’s going to be hard. I’m a single mom of two kids (13 and 11). I’ve been on my own for 9 years. Take one day at a time. There will be days you’re grumpy and make mistakes and that’s ok. My best advice is ALWAYS put them first. Dating can wait, and chores can wait. Some days the dishes will pile up and laundry will sit folded in baskets for weeks. Take the time to do that stuff on the quieter days. On the overwhelming days trying to do everything only makes it worse. Be patient with yourself and your babies. Soon enough you’ll find what works best for you. Sending lots of love and hugs.”
“Stay strong and look forward.”
“Just one foot in front of the other honey! Keep your chin up and your shoulder to the wheel! I did!”
Do Your Best (It’s All You Can Do!)
“I am a single mom to 3 boys. All close in age. It’s tough and exhausting, but I just try and wake up and do my best for them every single day. I don’t have any family nearby to help. So I just trudge through. Just got to stay strong and put one foot in front of the other.”
“There is no perfect mom. Do what’s best for you and your children. Washing dishes after they are asleep is a lot easier. Getting things ready and set out for am helps. Make a routine that works for you. If things don’t get done every day it’s okay. Love them and yourself.”
Find (or Make) a Village
“It seems like the days are long but the years will pass quickly Breathe, pray, and love with all your heart. One of the most important things I did was to involve us in our church. Many people to love our children. The other thing, since we had no local family, was to adopt a local older woman to be “Grandma Shirley.” What a blessing in our lives. She passed away 1 year ago and we truly miss her.”
“It’s not always easy. Just stay strong, you can do it. One thing that will help, though, is to find your village. You know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child.” My sister and I helped each other out a LOT and we still do. Whether you have help or not, just take one day at a time and whenever you feel overwhelmed or like you can’t do it, just spend some time with your little one and watch them smile. It helps recharge you.”
More Advice for Single Moms
“My only advice is: once the routine is made and you feel slightly confident in your new role, take time for you! It’s hard to do but absolutely necessary for your sanity.”
“Routine routine routine!”
“Just don’t forget about you! Happiness comes from within. You cannot pour from an empty bucket or give your children what you don’t have. Self-care is essential. Hobbies or reading or whatever it is that calms your nerves or brings you joy is still important. Your kids will see that and learn from it whether yall know it or not. Enlist their help with cooking laundry and housework. You’re still a family, and family helps one another. A load is easier to bear when it is shared. Don’t feel bad if you can’t give them everything they want as long as they have everything they need. Don’t degrade the father. They will see in time who cared and was there for them and when old enough, appreciate you more for it. Good luck! It’s hard but nothing worth anything was ever easy! You can do this!”
“A lot of patience and wine!”
“Organization and self-discipline are the keys here, so get a grip and tighten your belt, because you’re gonna experience some hard rides.”
“And just remember if your kid(s) are still alive at the end of the day….well then you did your job!”
We love all of this advice! Thanks so much, mamas!
We’re particularly fond of the advice that the OP should find her “village.” Support can come in many different forms from many different people. Just because a partner is no longer in the picture doesn’t mean you can’t lean on friends, family, neighbors, group members, or others to help you with day-to-day tasks. You’ll be surprised not only by how many people will jump to help you but by how many people actually want to help in whatever ways they can. So ask for help when you need it and build that support network!
Do you have any advice for single moms? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s li
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