In a post to Reddit, one woman is asking the internet is she is in the wrong for disowning her brother who came out as gay because of how he treats his ex-wife.
“I (21f) have a brother (28) who came out as gay last month. He has been married to my best friend’s big sister (24) for four years, they have 2yo twin daughters together. I’m really close with her, so I’ve been trying to stay neutral in what has become a messy separation.”
“My brother told his wife he’s gay by sitting her down, and saying he had been sleeping with two different men for about six months. He said he is now sure that he feels romantic feelings for men, and also told her he has been sleeping with random men from Grindr for over a year behind her back. She obviously freaked out, asked him how he could do this, why didn’t he tell her when he started having the feelings, etc.”
And while the wife was upset for obvious reasons, he was beyond angry she was not supportive and kicked her out of the home along with their two boys.
“He said that he’s always thought he was gay but he didn’t want to come out because it might affect his career. She asked him what about the effect on her life? She is now a single mother to two toddlers. He was essentially very angry that she wasn’t supportive of this, so he kicked her out of the house, with the kids. After she eventually found a place to stay, my brother moved in one of the men he has been having an affair with.”
To add fuel the flame, the brother doesn’t necessarily want to be out yet.
“Since then, he has had very little contact with the kids, as in speaking to them on the phone once a week maybe. He has expressed that he still doesn’t want to be public about coming out, so he posted on Facebook that he has separated from his wife because they aren’t in love anymore and hinted SHE was the unfaithful one (posting things like ‘yeah, seems like someone in this relationship wasn’t satisfied with just one man’) and is basically being a dick.”
And while the sister supported him coming out in his own time, she had a severe issue with how he treated his now ex-wife.
“I told him a couple weeks ago that he’s a f******* a****** and I don’t want to be involved with him anymore because I think it’s disgusting that he’s treated his wife like this. I told him I get that you have to come out in your own time, but you don’t need to kick her out, ignore your kids and berate her, and you don’t need to make comments that people will assume mean she was being unfaithful (he said this was a joke about him having two partners now? still f***** up).”
At this point, the family seems divided on the situation and she is not sure if she is in the wrong for her beliefs.
“He said I’m being a homophobic a******, and that I don’t know how hard it is to come out. He said that if I don’t accept him, I’m a bigot. He made mistakes and what not. I said maybe I will forgive him if he improves his behaviour to his wife, and he said he resents her for keeping him from sleeping with men for years. I gave up at this point. My sisters (17&24) both think I’m being homophobic, my mom agrees with me.”
Internet, what are your thoughts?! Leave your opinion below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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