My Toddler Refuses to Hold My Hands, Which Means I Can’t Take Him Anywhere Safely in Public: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice about her toddler. She says that her toddler refuses to hold her hand when they go places in public. She adds that if she tries to hold his hand, he sits on the ground and won’t move. But if she isn’t holding his hand, her son will run around like crazy and will often do things like run into the street. It has gotten to the point where this mom feels she can’t safely take her toddler anywhere. Is there anything she can do to change this behavior?

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A member of the community asks:

“How can I keep my toddler safe in public when he doesn’t like to hold my hand?”

“Help! My toddler won’t hold my hand when we go places; if I hold his hand, he sits on the ground and won’t move, but as soon as I let go, he’s running around crazy. What do y’all do for crazy children who just want to run? Like we literally can’t go anywhere without the stroller, or he goes in the road or just takes off running.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Whose Toddler Won’t Hold Her Hand, Leaving Her to Feel She Can’t Take Him Out in Public Safely

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionHow can I keep my toddler safe in public when he doesn't like to hold my hand?Help! My toddler won't…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Friday, August 14, 2020

Advice Summary

My Toddler Refuses to Hold My Hands, Which Means I Can't Take Him Anywhere Safely in Public: Advice?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“Ummm. Explain he needs to hold your hand for safety. If he refuses put him back in the car. You are the parent.”

“I’m the parent. He’s going to hold my hand because I said so. I have 6 kids and they do have their moments but I do not let them think they run me. My advice is don’t let them do what they want. It may suck he is throwing a fit but if you let him that’s what he will get used to and you will not be able to control him. It already seems like that’s how he’s acting now but start taking control before he gets older.”

“I had no issues with my first three, but my youngest, she’s my wild child. She’s 7 now, so she understands more, but when she was a toddler, I used to get her to hold my hand by not telling her that I needed her to hold my hand so SHE was safe, but by telling her she needed to hold my hand so I was safe…

… I told her I wanted her to hold my hand so no one would take me when we were out or so I didn’t get hit by a car. Worked like a charm. We would get out of the car and as soon as her feet hit the ground ‘mommy, I need your hand so nobody takes you from me.'”

“He holds your hand or he doesn’t go. Miss out on a couple of fun trips and it will change. Safety always comes first!”

“You are the parent. What you say goes. It may take some work from you to get him to revert back to understanding you are the boss, not him… but it’s necessary.”

“I have a backpack with a leash/lead on it. He likes to run and wander and this way he stays close without having to hold my hand. Judge all you want, not your kid, not your say-so in how I or any other parent chooses to keep their kid safe and comfortable. Definitely something to keep your baby close to you if they refuse hand-holding or get bored in the cart seat. The wristlet things look cool and effective, so I might have to look into that to provide more stable freedom.”

“Backleash or harness leash is a safety tether. I have both the harness leash and the tether, depending on what we are doing determines what we use. My son loved his harness leash.”

“Definitely the backpack with the harness. Who cares what people say about it. With all the stuff going on in the world people can shove it.”

“My son (2 years old) has a backpack with a lead on it (you can have the leash on or off because it has a clip). He gets 3 warnings if he doesn’t listen and walks off the leash goes on and it doesn’t come back off till we go back into the car.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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