As many toddlers will attest, sharing is hard work, and sometimes you just don’t want to do it. The same is true for grown-ups, especially when it comes to food.
A mom recently took to Reddit, according to CafeMom, to ask readers if she was a terrible mom for not sharing her food with her 4-year-old daughter. She claimed that her husband called her out for not sharing her food with her, and it made her feel like a bad mom.
“My husband and I have a 4-year-old. I love her to pieces, she’s my lil potato, but every parent knows the struggles of having to share everything you eat with your kid. Whenever she sees me eating, she wants some. 99.9% of the time, I share with her because it’s not a huge deal,” the mom wrote in her post.
“Today, I had an awful day at work, so I picked up some food from my favorite restaurant on the way home,” she continued. “This time I didn’t feel like sharing with her, so I told her no.”
But her 4-year-old would not have it and got very upset when her mom told her she wouldn’t share her fries. The mom reported that she remained calm in the face of the tantrum; however, she did get upset when her husband told her she was being selfish because she wasn’t sharing with their daughter.
Mom Asks If She’s an Awful Parenting for Not Sharing Her Food With Her Daughter
In the end, she caved and gave her daughter a treat, but ended up feeling like “an awful mom” for getting upset about the situation and her husband’s comment. “My husband says that it’s ‘not a big deal to share’ and says ‘I’m a b*tch’ for not sharing,” the mom wrote. “He told me that kids are better at sharing than I am.”
“I told him that I deserve to enjoy one meal by myself in the comfort of my bed after having a godawful day, and we don’t want to teach our daughter that she gets whatever she wants when she wants it,” she continued. Reddit commenters were mostly “team mom” in this case, applauding her for standing up for herself.
“‘Sharing is caring’ doesn’t mean a child gets to grow up thinking they’re entitled to everything,” one person wrote. “That just makes them spoiled, not generous. Poor momma. I hope Original Poster gets her fries.”
Some, though, felt the mom was acting like a child herself. “This is like relationship 101 stuff,” one commenter said. “No matter what anyone says, they WILL want your food, so if you pick some up, get back up to give them so you can have yours. It’s not that hard. Also, it’s a kid…”
The mom later wrote an update to her original post, noting that “she’s our first child, of course, we’re gonna mess up, we’re learning!”
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.
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