“I have a 6 year old grandson who I’ve never met. My son married someone very controlling and not picky and when she was pregnant she got upset that I wasn’t excited.”
“She kept demanding that I show excitement. She demanded that I buy all of the baby clothes but she got to pick them out and I told her to f*** off. She then made a big deal about me swearing at her and demanded an apology.”
It was then that she decided to create some space between them — but that choice did not go over as well as she had hoped.
“I stopped responding to her for a while and she demanded that my son give me and ultimatum. I refused but they didn’t go completely no contact because she was still hoping for gifts.
But the situation only continued to go south.
“She then freaked out because she found I was going to be out of town when her son was born because I was going on a trip for my friends birthday. She demanded that I cancel and it got into a conversation about family being more than blood and I said I don’t consider her family. She made my son (he was upset and didn’t want to) go no contact.”
And while the grandmother was upset, she accepted the situation.
“It hurt but I accepted it and six years later he reached out. Honestly I wasn’t very excited and had to get in the right head space to meet up with him, but I’m glad he is back in my life.”
But now the grandmother is torn between interacting with the family given their toxic relationship.
“He is still married and wants me to see her again and meet his son. I’m really not interested. The thought of meeting him or seeing her fills me with dread, and at this point it just feels like an obligation. I told my son it was too late and I’m not interested. Now I feel guilty for saying it but I still don’t want to meet him.”
One user said: “DIL sounds like an extremely toxic person and while I don’t necessarily understand not wanting to meet grandkid at all I understand being entirely done with DIL, especially when she forced the NC in the first place. And it makes more sense since grandson is six and seeing DIL is unavoidable if meeting him.”
While another said: “If your grandson means absolutely nothing to you then your DIL is probably right to not want you in their lives at all. How do you have a relationship with your son and never, ever meet his son?”
What do you think? Be sure to comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.