In a post to Reddit’s Breaking Mom community, one mother (who we will call the OP) wanted advice on a sticky situation she has found herself in with her sister-in-law (SIL).
“A few years ago my SIL was getting rid of ALL of her baby stuff after her twins outgrew it,” she began her post. “I do not have twins but she got two of everything even if she may not have needed two of certain items (diaper genies, wipe warmers) because my MIL was footing that bill.”
While the OP was upset that her SIL decided to sell the times, she flagged things she wanted to purchase.
“I did bid on some of her items and promised I would pay the amount she was asking for, my only huge ask was if she could hold onto the clothes until I knew the gender (about two weeks out) because she had two boys,” OP continued. “She sold everything and pretended not to see my message but she left me on read so I knew she didn’t want me to have her stuff. It worked out though, we were having a girl, so I was probably wasting her time.”
The OP was then able to get everything she needed anyhow.
“I had a really nice baby shower and got everything on my list,” OP said. Adding, “Then I welcomed another little girl 15 months [later] so all my new stuff was in great shape for her.”
But now, her SIL is pregnant with a girl.
“Very exciting after welcoming twin boys five years ago,” OP said. “Except her & my MIL want all of my baby s–t and they don’t believe family should pay for it,” she said. “My husband and I want more kids but not right now. It would probably all time out that I could lend her my things and have them back by the time I would be ready for baby #3.”
And while she technically could lend her SIL the clothes — she is not keen on the idea.
“However, I don’t know if it would come back in decent condition or be returned at all,” she explained. “Her and my BIL smoke in the house and I’m kind of sensitive to smoke.”
But the OP then became very candid and said her entire reasoning for hesitating is not just because she was worried about needing the clothing but rather she is being petty.
“Also, I’ll be honest. I’m salty AF that my MIL spoiled one DIL & son and ignored her other son,” she admitted.
OP noted how her MIL did get some gifts for her baby, but it was not the same as what her SIL received.
“We did get some nice outfits from her but she got SIL & BIL everything,” she revealed. “Cribs, diaper genies, play mats, swings, car seats because SIL’s family gave her clothes & toddler items. My MIL tends to favor them and they’re better than us or have it harder than us, whatever narrative garners more attention,” she added.
OP then thanked the readers for reading the full story and asked if she was wrong to keep her baby things.
“Leave her on read. Ignore your MIL,” one person suggested. “Hide it all in your attic. I’m p—ed FOR you.”
Another Reddit suggested the OP say, “‘Gosh, I wish you’d said something sooner, we sold it all!'” and that’s it.
“You don’t owe them a d–n thing! Especially if y’all are planning to have more,” commented another person. “But even if y’all aren’t, I wouldn’t give her anything. The MIL can provide for her again. Put the stuff you want to keep somewhere out of the way (garage, attic, etc) and sell or donate the rest.”
“My SIL found out I was selling some of my baby stuff after the baby was born. We really needed the money at that time and I honestly had a lot of good s–t,” another community member wrote.
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.