As many parents know, finding childcare can be really challenging. One mom, though, had another complication thrown her way when her sister, who lives in an apartment building “that is like a membership club for people interested in polyamory,” asked if she could watch her 4-year-old daughter at her apartment rather than the child’s home.
The mom, who took to Reddit to discuss her reservations around allowing her daughter in her sister’s apartment, shared that her sister and brother-in-law live in a “VERY sexually charged place” and, as a result, she has concerns about letting her child be watched in that environment.
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“I’m extremely uncomfortable having my daughter there because I’m worried strangers will be flitting in and out of their place,” the mom wrote. The mother also added that she shared her concerns with her sister, who did not take the news well.
Her sister allegedly told her that she was “being judgmental of her lifestyle choices.” The mom is concerned that if she shares her feelings, she could potentially damage her relationship with her sister long-term, but admitted that she ultimately doesn’t want her daughter in their home.
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“If you don’t feel safe to leave your child there then you shouldn’t feel pressured to say you do because you don’t want to hurt your sister’s feelings,” one poster commented. And another agreed, suggesting that the mom should offer to pay for gas if getting to and from her house is an issue.
“Offer to pay your sister for time and gas to get to your house and tell her that you’re just more comfortable having your daughter be home with all her things vs setting up the other hose with duplicates of everything,” they said.
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Some commenters noted that while the mom was coming across slightly judgmentally about her sister’s lifestyle choices, in the end, the decision about where her child is cared for is solely up to the parent. “You can choose the environments that your kids spend time in. If you’re not comfortable with a particular environment, no issues at all if you decide your kid should not go there. Very simple,” said one commenter.
How would you handle this, if you were ever in this type of situation?