A mom writes in asking for advice. Her husband’s grandmother recently passed away and the funeral is coming up. She’s not not sure if it’s appropriate to take their kids — ages 7 and 8 — to the funeral.
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“I was wondering at what age you Mamas have taken your children to a funeral? My husband’s grandma passed away and I’m not sure if I should allow my children to attend her funeral. My kids are 7- & 8- years-old.”
Community Advice for Mom Who Wonders How Old Kids Should Be Before They Attend Their First Funeral
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Most commenters felt that the OP’s kids were definitely old enough to attend their great-grandmother’s funeral, but that it’s a good idea to prepare them for it ahead of time. “Death is part of living and growing up,” one commenter said.
Some also suggested limiting the amount of time they are at the funeral if they might have issues sitting still or being quiet. One commenter advised: “Take them, but don’t make them view the body if they don’t want to (also, don’t make them feel ashamed if they’re curious and do want to). Just prepare them for what to expect, and how you want them to behave (though my kids seemed to pick up the social cures from those around them, and were very quiet).”
Other commenters said it’s less about a child’s age and more about where they are developmentally and how much they understand about the concept of death. One commenter summed it up this way: “You know your little ones better than anyone and know what they are capable of for their ages. If the kids were close to great-grandma, it may help them to have a goodbye.. but again, YOU know your babies best.”
Overall, the advice is really not about age but about how well the OP thinks her kids would be able to handle the funeral. And, even if the OP chooses for them not to attend, it’s an opportunity to have an open and honest conversation with her children about death and what it means.
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
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