When it comes to marriage and parenting the wise words, “life comes at you fast,” have never been truer. Any relationship takes work, but mothers often get a bad rap for not putting in enough of it. At least that’s a common refrain among recently divorced husbands who try to understand why their marriages fell apart.
Busy mom, Leslie Spurlock often hears men give the same excuse for infidelity or divorce, “she’s just not the same woman I married.” She has a thing or two to say about men who blame their wives for a ‘failed’ marriage.
After hearing and reading, “she’s just not the same woman I married” one too many times. Spurlock got candid in a Facebook post saying:
“I am here to agree with you. She’s not the same woman that could go to bed at 11pm, and sleep through until the next morning when she could crawl out of bed, take a shower, brew a cup of coffee, and leisurely drink it while she was painting on her face and curled her hair, map out an hour and a half every day for the gym, or spend 2 hours in Ross deciding if that outfit really was cute.”
Spurlock admits motherhood changes a woman. She takes issue with spouses who expect their wedding-day bride even after giving birth. “She is the woman that now gets kids into bed, binge watches her shows until midnight (because every day is just that exhausting when you’re home with children), is up 1-1,000,000 times before the sun is up, then wakes up with the kids to do it all over again. Every day,”
“She’s the woman that gets puked on when there’s a tummy bug, and the one that is used as a Kleenex when the cold makes its rounds through the house,” Spurlock explains in the post.
Spurlock says that it’s not for lack of trying.
Many husbands complain that their wives don’t give them enough. She explains that many women try to do it all, but they’re only human and their energy is finite. “She’s the woman that is sometimes so exhausted from nursing babies, chasing toddlers, chauffeuring school aged children, talking on the phone with her heartbroken adult children that she sometimes doesn’t have the energy to give you,” she says. “She’s depleted.”
When a woman becomes a mother, it’s not just physical and mental changes. Motherhood changes a person to her core. “So no, her body is not the body you married — it has birthed humans. Her mind is not the same — she has many more things filling the once empty spaces,” she wrote. “Her patience is not the same — she’s used it up on the children, most days. She is not the same woman you married, and thank God for that.”
Just when a mom thinks she can take a moment for herself, she must think again.
In the post, Spurlock posts a picture of her child next to a pool of spilled milk. She explains that the minute a mother thinks she can take time for herself and do something nice for her spouse like doing her makeup or changing into a flattering outfit, a child will inevitably create chaos. Cue the spilled milk.
Andrew is a Chicago-based writer who enjoys finding the best of the internet, obsessively making lists, and cooking for friends. After studying Film and Art History, he developed a deep love for both topics. Celebrity news, pop culture, and stories that bring people together are his passions.
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