A mom writes in asking for advice about having a third child. This mom says she has two children ages 7 and 5, and she is currently pregnant with her third. Despite this not being her first rodeo, this mom is experiencing severe anxiety thinking about balancing jobs, finances, and life with three kids. Have any other moms experienced a similar uptick in anxiety when having multiple kids?
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A member of the community asks:
“I am pregnant with my 3rd and having major anxiety: Advice?“
“I have two kids, ages 7 and 5. I am 35 years old and am pregnant with our third child. I am having such bad anxiety about having a third. I keeping thinking about our jobs, balancing life, three college tuitions, three weddings, a newborn baby, breastfeeding, etc. I keep thinking we should have just stayed with two. I know we can’t go back, but why am I so worried? I know I will love this baby but I am very scared and worried.“
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Anxious About Having Her Third Child
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“It will pass, Mama. We are also on number 3. Unplanned. Our other two are 6 and 5. We’ve gotten a bit more excited but still very anxious. Babies are blessings. Prayers your way.”
“I have three kids and I don’t find it much more difficult than having two kids. My big kids were 9 and 7 when I had my third and I was 37. The third was easier in a lot of ways – I was more mature and I also just enjoyed it more. I didn’t freak out as much as I did when I was a less experienced mother and my third kid is such a go with the flow guy!…
… Not to mention, I got a lot of help (and still do) from the bigs with the baby. My kids are 18, 16, and almost 10 now. It is hard to balance sports and extracurriculars, but it is hard to do that with just two!! You will do fine and you will never regret adding another love to your family! I think 2020 is just freaking us all out and giving us all major anxiety – big life changes are hard to tackle in this climate.”
“Just live your present and give the best to your kids every single day. The future is uncertain and what they need right now is the joy and love of you! YOU ARE A SUPERWOMAN, EMPOWER YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!”
“1 to 2 was tough. 2 to 3 is not anywhere near as hard. I tried to make sure that the older two were involved. We always called the baby ‘their’ baby too. (Can you get your baby a diaper, I think your baby is cold, can you get her a blanket, etc). The feeling that they were a part of it made it much easier for them. You’ll be all good!”
“I had my 3rd at 36, planned, and still have anxiety over how we will get thru it all (they are now 21, 18, & 14). They are all great kids, and we both work f/t, they were in daycare for years (tough years financially, but we made it through) & now college. Just love them with all your heart, be kind to one another, spend quality time with them when you can, give them each individual attention when they need it. It’s exhausting, at times frustrating, at times scary, and endless worry, but he/she will fill your heart and hopefully complete your family. And they will always have each other. Good luck and stay strong!”
“As soon as you hold your baby, if not before, you will love him or her forever. With the current state of uncertainty in the world right now I think it would be natural to have more anxiety during pregnancy. Take each day as it comes, but make preparations for the future.”
“My firstborns were twins, 18 years ago. I had all the same worries… I did get through it, without my family, and I had post-partum depression before I knew what it was. I’m not really sure how I managed. I’ve had 2 more after that… 4 kids total. A lot of worry…
… The only advice I can give is to take each day as it is. Make it through that day, deal with the tomorrow’s when they come, or when you’re ready to deal with them. They’re a long way off from a wedding, and college. When your 3rd isn’t a newborn, it will be easier for you. Then you’ll have a bit more time to think of the future. For now, think of the present. And if you need help, please ask for it. Either family or community services. Talk to your doctor.”
“I had anxiety about my 2nd kid too. I think it’s a normal feeling when adding to your bunch. Your baby will be so perfect to you that you won’t care about any of the extras when he/she gets here. Just go with the flow! It all comes naturally & works itself out.”
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