A stepmom writes in asking for advice after her 8-year-old stepson stole $450 from his father. However, because the boy’s mother didn’t think he should be punished for his actions, he faced zero repercussions for what he did. But because the mom doesn’t feel like she has a say in how they raise their son, she doesn’t know what to do. Any advice for this struggling stepmom?
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A member of the community asks:
“I have a massive issue with my stepson. He lies and steals. He is 8. Well, over the weekend, he stole $450 from my hubby. He went back to his mom’s and told her he found it in the woods. This was Saturday. She took them out to eat, gave him $50 for [the] chores he has done, and kept the rest. Sunday, [my husband] realized it was missing at the pickup stop.
So he confronted both mom and stepson. Mom gave my hubby $100 back. Both stepson and stepdaughter said mom deposited it in her account. My hubby texts her saying what they had said, and she sends a text with a screenshot of her bank statement saying she only said that to them because stepson was freaking out about taking his money. My hubby never once asked for the money back from her, claiming he has no evidence that she took it. This woman has put us through hell and back for the last four years. I seriously think my hubby is scared of her. She is quick to pull the kids out of his life if she isn’t getting her way.
Well, no punishment was made for my stepson. Mom condones the behavior, and my hubby was like he told the truth, so basically, he is clear of all punishment. I’m at my wit’s end. This isn’t the first time we have had issues with [my] stepson. He told his mom a year ago I slapped him, and his mom took the kids from [my] hubby for eight months. Then filed a bogus restraining order on him and said if he kept the kids away from me, she’d drop it and the courts allowed this. So for three months, he couldn’t bring them near me.
I had a harassment order on her for stalking and harassing me. It’s good for two years. Things were very quiet and good for months, then this happened with the money. Now I’m debating on whether or not I should just leave this relationship. I thought the worst was over, but I can clearly see that it has just begun. We have a two-year-old together, and our relationship is very healthy, and we get along pretty well.
Well, I mentioned to him that no punishment for his actions is showing him from both parents that this is ok. He made it very clear that it’s his kids, and he will do what he wants. In my eyes, it affects all of us because that was rent money, so I should have the right to express myself. After all, he says we are in this “together.” I can’t deal with the stress of this woman anymore. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t stop worrying about this and how much more is going to happen and he’s too scared to stand up to her.
She has really screwed me over in so many ways, and she thinks DCF is her lifeline, and she is always calling them on us. I live a simple life. I want a simple life. I’m not going to get that with her, and I don’t think I can do this for another ten years. I need advice on what I should do. It’s not fair to my [2-year-old] not to have her parents together. I feel horrible about this, but I’m truly at my wit’s end. Please help. Thank you.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Stepmom Who Feels Like She’s at Her Wit’s End
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Fan QuestionMy step son stole $450 from my husband and I and he isn't in trouble: What should I do?I have a massive…
Posted by Mamas Uncut on Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Advice Summary
While not everyone suggested that the mom file for divorce, many agreed that their relationship was unhealthy and something has to be done to fix it.
One commenter shared her own experience, having been apart of a similar situation. “My mother busted her butt for my step sisters growing up for 12 years and did literally everything my stepfather asked of her and their mother was the worst to her and they treated my mother like dirt the entire time!!! My stepfather never defended my mother either when it came to those two girls, so you have some serious thinking to do. Everyone’s situation is different…”
Another commenter added, “Life’s too short to be miserable!! No relationship can survive with that much trauma and drama!!” And one mom wrote, “In a relationship or marriage, the kids on both sides have to be on the same page with you both, or it cannot be healthy.”
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