Last month, Tanner and Jade Tolbert welcomed their second child, son Brooks Easton. Since adding another bundle of joy to their family, the Bachelor in Paradise couple has been open about the ups and downs of being new parents.
Tanner was recently interviewed for The Viall Files, a podcast hosted by his friend Nick Viall, and he spoke candidly about the couple’s different attitude towards sex following the birth, as well as his struggle to bond with their new baby.
To address some of the feedback, the couple recently spoke on Jade’s podcast, Mommies Tell All, where Tanner says he got mixed reactions after admitting he didn’t feel as close to Brooks as he does with the couple’s older daughter, Emerson.
“I was hesitant to even say that because I knew I was opening a can of worms publicly, but it is the truth and I should be able to talk about my truth,” Tanner said during their chat.
Though he was hesitant to share his feelings publicly, he has “gotten tons of messages from men and women saying their husbands or themselves have felt the same way.”
“I feel like it’s slower. Maybe not in all cases, but at least in my mind,” Tanner said about bonding with his babies.
Jade admitted that she felt “publicly shamed” after Tanner’s comments were shared by many media outlets.
During his interview on The Viall File, Tanner also discussed the couple’s sex life after the birth, saying “I feel like I’ve begged for it. And I don’t want to feel selfish – I hate asking, I hate trying, ‘cause I don’t want it to be pity sex.”
The couple cleared the air, noting that they waited until the six-week mark to have sex and that there was no pressuring to do so from Tanner.
“All these articles came out saying, like, ‘Tanner Tolbert is shaming [his] wife for not having sex with him right after having a baby.’ And then all these people started writing comments and shaming you, being like, ‘What a dog, she’s just healing, leave her alone,’ and it was nothing like that,” Jade said.
“If you listened to Nick’s podcast, you would know what I said was no way disrespectful,” Tanner continued. “I was talking about our sex life when it was just Emmy, life after one child, how it had been the last couple years and also saying now we’re four weeks postpartum, internally knowing that we’re waiting six-plus weeks like our doctor’s orders.”
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.