14 Epic Thanksgiving Turkey Fails That Will Make You Question Our Collective Devotion to the Bird

Thanksgiving wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a few culinary mishaps. After all, the holiday is a food-centric one that depends on the organization, skill, and experience of home cooks of the family to pull off. But, chances are, your family doesn’t have a Michelin-starred chef in it who is ready to take the helm. Thus, fails inevitably ensue making Thanksgiving an extremely dicey proposition. Additionally, 2020 is going to be a weird one for most of us leaving many to prepare the feast themselves for the first time.

To celebrate the wonderful chaos that is a kitchen on Thanksgiving, we decided to take a look at some food fails. Not just any food fails, no, we’re after the star of the show, the turkey. Turkey fails are extremely common. However, you wouldn’t think roasting a giant bird should be as hard as it actually is. So many factors can ruin a perfectly good turkey and render it inedible. Let’s take a look at some of the worst offenders, shall we? Here are 14 epic turkey fails to avoid this Thanksgiving.

Crunchy

If your turkey appears charred to the point of turning into charcoal, you have indeed failed. This poor, poor turkey has been roasted past the point of no return. Please remember to set a kitchen timer, folks!

Earthy

A floor turkey is never a good thing. We’d like to take a moment to remind people that turkeys are extremely heavy in many cases. Further, a feathered bird is a slick one so make sure you’ve got a good grip on your roasting pan when you’re transporting it to the oven or that baby just might try to fly.

Extra Crispy

The person who shared this Thanksgiving disaster captioned the photo noting that Black Friday had come a day early. The combusted carcass of this turkey looks wretched enough but the pool of yellow, rendered fat that it’s sitting in makes it even more unsightly.

Juicy

While this bird looks mostly well-cooked the stuffing wanted to escape the cavity and thus we have a roasted turkey that looks like its head has exploded. Now, this will probably still be delicious, however, you might want to slice a bird that looks like this before you take it to the table.

Tender

Is this a roasting turkey or a still from an upcoming Alien sequel? It’s hard to tell. What a sad, sad day for the innocent turkeys of the world.

More to Love

Did the preparers of these two turkeys honestly think that a bed of salad would help improve the appearance of these two burned birds? They had two chances to get it right and still, we find the score: humans 0, and turkey 2.

Surf & Turf

Please excuse us while we take a moment to say a prayer to ward off whatever evil is pictured above. We’ve heard of a turducken, a dish consisting of a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck, further stuffed into a deboned turkey. We’ve never heard of a turkraken.

Exploding with Flavor

The defiant turkey will not be tamed. We find one escape artist of a bird that’s broken free from the cooking vessel that tried to contain it. What a sorry looking mess.

Free Range

It appears that this floor turkey actually saw some heat before it leapt to its death. Slow and steady wins the race on Thanksgiving. Don’t rush your bird and it won’t slip away from you.

Moist

In an effort to cook a more moist and tender bird, some invest in oven bags to wrap a bird in as it cooks. As you can see, that method has its limits and this bag has completely melted over this turkey. This is not a good look.

Braised

A person didn’t understand the concept of stuffing and therefore a turkey is now bathed in despair. We’re not entirely sure how this was “achieved” but we know we’re not interested in looking at it any longer. Yuck.

Free Bird

If you’re only using that massive roasting pan in your kitchen once a year, you might want to consider a couple of practice rounds with it before the holidays arrive. Floor turkeys can be avoided but these birds really do wish to be free.

Cooked to Temp

Someone had the audacity to stick a meat thermometer in this deep-fried mess. A common mistake people make when deep frying is allowing the oil to get far too hot which burns the skin and doesn’t fully cook the meat. Take it nice and easy, folks.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: 10 Modern Thanksgiving Sides Certain to Refresh Your Holiday Dinner

A Horror Movie

 

We leave you with this short film which plays like watching a car crash in slow motion. Please be careful with your turkeys and all the strange ways we try to improve on their flavor. Easy does it!

Are you scared to roast your turkey now? Don’t be! You’ve got this. Be brave, take your time, set a timer, and if you’ve got time, go ahead and bake that baby a day in advance and gently warm it before serving. There’s no need to risk disgust or injury if you’re rushing your Thanksgiving prize. Keep reading for some fun Thanksgiving jokes.

Discover the Very Best Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids Below:

Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• Why did the turkey cross the road? He wanted people to think he was a chicken.
• Why do turkeys love rainy days? They love fowl weather.
• What’s a turkey’s favorite Thanksgiving food? Nothing, it’s really stuffed.

More Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

• Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
• Why do turkeys gobble? Because they never learned table manners.
• What instrument does a turkey play? The drumstick.

Even More Silly Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
• What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google.
• What kind of key can’t open doors? A tur-key.

Still More Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• What’s the best song to play while cooking a turkey? “All About the Baste.”
• What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
• What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing-wing-wing-wing.

We Can’t Get Enough of These Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

• What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert? Apple gobbler.
• What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving? Vegetarians.
• What did the little turkey say to the big turkey? “Go peck on someone your own size.”

Yes, There’s More!

• What do turkeys like to do on sunny days? Have peck-nics.
• Why is it hard to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes? You can’t just quit cold turkey.
• Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing.

We’ve Got Even More Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes to Share

• What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble-wobble.
• What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost? A poultry-geist.
• What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving? Quack.

We’re Still Talking Turkey with These Thanksgiving Jokes

• What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve it pizza and ice cream.
• Did you hear about the turkey fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
• If leaves come from trees, where do turkeys come from? Poultries.

Turkey Jokes Are Clearly Where It’s At

• Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course, buildings can’t jump.
• What do turkeys say on Thanksgiving? Moo.
• Did you hear about the turkey prom? It was a Butterball.

Really Fun Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

• What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself.
• How do turkeys cross the ocean? On a gravy boat.
• Did you hear the one about the rude turkey? It was a jerk-y.

Charming Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• Why was the turkey expelled from the game? It committed a fowl.
• Why didn’t the chef season the turkey? There wasn’t enough thyme.
• What do you call rain on Turkey Day? Fowl Weather

Keep It Rolling with Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

• How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving? It took the gravy train.
• What did the turkey say to the mashed potatoes? It’s gravy from here on out.
• How many cooks do you need to stuff a turkey? Just one but sometimes they don’t fit.

Knock-Knock Thanksgiving Jokes

• Knock knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie body want some pumpkin pie?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who? Gwen is Thanksgiving Dinner? I’m hungry.

RELATED: 120+ Kids Knock Knock Jokes That Will Keep Them Giggling

More Knock-Knock Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• Knock knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to sit at the kids’ table this year?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? I mustache you to carve the turkey.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good pumpkin pie recipe?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita bigger pair of pants because I ate too much.

Food Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? Because it had 24 carrots.
• What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
• What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.

More Food-Inspired Thanksgiving Jokes

• How did the salt and pepper welcome their guests? “Seasoning’s Greetings!”
• What did the sweet potato say when it was asked if it was hungry? “Yes, I yam.”
• What veggies would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me.

More Food Thanksgiving Jokes

• What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries and make them sad? They turn into blueberries.
• Why don’t side dishes tell jokes? They’re too corny.
• Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving? Because it’s a-maize-ing.

Even More Delightful Food Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• How do little pumpkins cross the road? With a crossing gourd.
• Why did the farmer steamroll his potato field? He was craving mashed potatoes.

Miscellaneous Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

• What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
• What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.
• What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving? I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Argh! 50 of the Funniest Pirate Jokes for Kids

More Random Thanksgiving Jokes

• What do you call Thanksgiving if you’re selfish? Thanks-taking.
• What comes at the beginning of a Thanksgiving parade? The letter “P.”
• What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter “G.”
• Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize? It was outstanding in its field.

Wow! Aren’t these Thanksgiving jokes for kids delightful? If you think your kids will enjoy these jokes, you must keep reading as we have rounded up some truly wonderful fall jokes for kids as well. Enjoy!