I am a White Mom Raising a Mixed Son in an Otherwise All-White Family: Where Should I Begin?

A white mom writes in asking for advice about raising her mixed-race son as protests throughout the world continue. This white mother-of-three has an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship. Her son’s father is Black, and therefore her son is half-Black and half-white. This mom wants to know what she should be doing for her son: What conversations should she be having with him? How should she be having them? Where should she start?

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: ‘The Talk’: As a White Mom with a Black Son, I Must Prepare My Child for a World of Injustice

A member of the community asks:

“I am a white mother raising a mixed child: How can I educate him about the things happening?

I am a 32-year-old mother of three (11,7,2). My 11-year-old son is from my previous relationship. I am white; his father is black. His father is mostly out of the picture. With everything going on, I want to have the right conversations with him. We’ve touched on what he sees in the news (we live near DC), but it is literally the tip of the iceberg, and I know this. My question is, as a white mother raising a mixed son in an all-white family, where do I begin?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This White Mom Raising a Mixed (Black) Son Who Wants to Know How She Can Educate and Support Him

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionI am a white mother raising a mixed child: How can I educated him on the things happening?I am a…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Sunday, June 7, 2020

Advice Summary

I am a White Mother Raising a Mixed Son in an Otherwise All-White Family: Where Should I Begin?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“We were upfront and honest with our trans biracial teenager. We frequently talk about what things he’s run across on social media, etc…

… We also had the cop talk. We had him practice putting his hands up and announce every move he made. Be respectful, say yes Sir and no Sir (even though in this house we’re punk rocking anarchists), do whatever the cop says, don’t speak or sign anything without a parent. We ended it with saying ‘Your only objective is to come home safe because we love you and need you. You matter.'”

“Just keep it truthful and as basic as you can. Be direct. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the luxury to be “babied” on the subject. You know your child best, you know how much they can handle and how to talk to him best. Just follow your gut and good luck! You should be proud of yourself for seeking advice on such a hard subject”

“You teach him love, kindness, and respect. Be honest with him. Teach him to stand up against racism. Teach him his culture, his race, his background.”

“Be completely honest. It’s REALLY important to teach the correct way to act when encountering an officer because unfortunately it will much different for him than the rest of your children.”

“Teach him he is a black young man because the world will see him as that. Teach him all his history as a black man and pride in his skin and people will sadly see his skin as a threat, but we will make this world better… We promise!”

“You teach him to be kind and respectful to others but to expect the same in return from them.”

“The first thing is to learn as much factual info as you can. Don’t want to spread false info. Is your child’s family on his father’s side in his life? If so I’d suggest asking them to have the conversation. I applaud you for this but no one can explain better than people who live through it. I’m sure there will be plenty of questions for you too and my advice is if you don’t have an absolutely factual answer let him know that and that you will find out.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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