Gender reveal spectacles have gone too far, people! Events to reveal the “gender” of a bay have not just taken a step or a leap in the wrong direction, they’ve nosedived off a cliff headfirst into an abyss of degradation. We are choking on the toxic plumes of your pink or blue smoke bombs and we are over it! As tempting as it is to go into a screed about the difference between biological sex and gender (gender is a construct, end of story), we’ll spare you. Maybe.
Instead, let’s take a look at the practical aspects of gender reveals that really don’t make that much sense. What utility is there in a reveal? If the goal is to inform your friends and family about the sex of the baby, did they really need another social event to attend to do that? We assume most people are still having Baby Showers (with registries) which is an expense to guests. Then, there’s commonly a Sip and See (or sort of small gathering) for friends to meet your baby after they’re born. We get that learning the sex of a baby is exciting but is it as exciting for everyone else? Does anyone really care that much? With these questions in mind, we decided to outline why gender reveals are actually the worst.
Setting Yourself Up for Failure
At the point, we at MamasUncut have written dozens of stories about “gender reveal fails,” an entire genre of dereliction. Poorly thought out gender reveal stunts have resulted in embarrassment, injury, massive fires, and death.
The Mother of the Trend Regrets It
Jenna Karvunidis is credited with being the first influencer-mom to throw a gender reveal party after she kicked off the online trend a decade ago. Last year, she shared an image on Facebook with an update about how she has evolved over the past 10 years.
“I’ve felt a lot of mixed feelings about my random contribution to the culture,” Karvunidis wrote. “It just exploded into crazy after that. Literally – guns firing, forest fires, more emphasis on gender than has ever been necessary for a baby.
“Who cares what gender the baby is? I did at the time because we didn’t live in 2019 and didn’t know what we know now – that assigning focus on gender at birth leaves out so much of their potential and talents that have nothing to do with what’s between their legs,” she added.
She closes the caption with: “PLOT TWIST, the world’s first gender-reveal party baby is a girl who wears suits!”
Too Many Parties
Parents can usually find out the biological sex of their baby after 16 weeks. That’s nearly (not quite) halfway through the pregnancy and the difference of a couple of months before a typical baby shower is thrown. Do you really want to subject yourself, extended family, and friends to the additional festivities of a gender reveal party?
Being pregnant is hard. It’s exhausting. Why then, would you make more work for yourself? Why not have a gender reveal nap instead? The biological sex of a baby isn’t that big of a deal and gift registries or a simple phone call will suffice. Why not skip a stressful event and make your partner massage your feet? Reveal the extent of your edema!
Conventionality is Boring
Keep folks out of your hair and off of your mind for as long as you can! That’s good advice. Many parents will throw a Sip and See or Welcome the Baby gathering a couple of months after a child is born. Why are there so many events for new parents to have to think about!? Alas, these events are great opportunities for people to meet your actual baby and not a preconceived notion about who that baby should be! Revolutionary, we know, but you don’t have to do as others do. Do you.
Chart your own path and choose a unisex baby name. Paint the baby’s room yellow, green, or *clutches pearls* don’t paint at all. Swaddle your child in natural linen dyed with beet juice and sing them Vedic chants. Be that parent.
Waiting Until Birth is Better
There are many benefits to waiting to find out a baby’s biological sex at birth. After all, it’s how the ancestors did it for… forever. If you’re the type of parent that really wants a girl over a boy or vice versa, you should most definitely wait until the birth. Finding out that the baby’s sex is not what you were hoping for will make the last weeks of pregnancy less bearable. There might even be added dread. However, when most parents see their child for the first time, it’s such a magical moment that they don’t give a damn about it. Problem solved.
Further, a partner or relatives might be buzzing in your ear trying to apply pressure to learn the sex. You can compromise with a partner. But, do not compromise on what matters to you! Waiting until birth is so exciting and rewarding and will allow parents to build a deeper connection and understanding with a child. Don’t let friends and relatives rob you of the exciting in that once-in-a-lifetime moment. When you hold that baby for the first time, everything else is going to melt away.