A mom writes in asking for advice after her boyfriend talked to her son about puberty even though she asked him not to. Now she’s wondering if she’s wrong for being upset over the situation.
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A member of the community asks:
“Am I out of line being upset? I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years, known him for 10+ years. I have two kids from a previous relationship. And their father, while he was a sh*tty dad when we were together, has turned into a pretty good dad since we split. My son recently started showing signs of puberty. I brought it up to my boyfriend in passing. He did live with us and said, “Ok; I’ll talk to him” meaning my son.
I asked him not to because I don’t want to start a fight with his dad. He goes, “I don’t care,” then has a brief talk about deodorant with my son. I’m very upset because I don’t feel like it’s his place. I’m being told if my boyfriend is gonna be involved, he is 100% involved and just because my ex wants to be a dad now doesn’t mean he gets to be. Am I wrong in being upset?“
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Upset With Her Boyfriend for Talking to Her Son About Puberty
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
There was a lot of back and forth regarding this particular subject within the community.
One commenter wrote, “I got made when the new mom taught my daughter to shave her legs… I just felt like she should have checked with me first. Deodorant is not a bad thing though… a kid can’t get enough encouragement on that end. I personally want my kids to know they can talk to any of us. I just want them to be able to talk. So I don’t think a deodorant discussion is all bad.”
Another person said, “Soooooo, he didn’t have “the talk” he just explained deodorant to him.
You’re lucky you have someone who wants to be there. You are wrong here, sorry.”
And one woman added, “It’s just deodorant. I gave my husband permission to talk to my son about puberty (and I know my husband will tell him to put on deodorant if and when he starts to smell). My son’s bio-dad only sees him every other weekend.”
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