How Can I Get My Hyperactive 3-Year-Old to Calm Down and Listen?

A mom writes in asking for advice about her 3-year-old toddler. She says her son is “super hyperactive.” He is usually fine when it just the two of them, but if anyone else is around, “all respect goes out the window.” He runs wild, throws things, yells, and then throws a fit when his mom tries to calm him or send him to his room. This mom wants to know if there is anything can do to help change this behavior, to calm him when he is in such a state.

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A member of the community asks:

“How can I get my toddler to calm down and listen?

Wondering tricks and tips on how to get my super hyperactive 3-year-old son to listen to me and to relax a little? So to begin with – If it’s just him and me, he is usually pretty good. BUT… as soon as I have company over – all respect goes out the window.. he’s running wild, doesn’t listen to me, throwing toys, sticking tongue out, yelling, very loud and just not pleasant at all!! And when I tell him he will be going to his room to play quietly by himself – he will flat out say NO! and then have a fit when I proceed…

When people are around he refuses to play independently. He won’t sit still I constantly feel like I need my eyes on him at ALL times because he will either make a mess on purpose or put things in his mouth, I don’t trust him at all…. Is there anything I can do for him to listen to me better also tips on him being a little less hyper. It’s a constant battle because I notice other children aren’t half as hyper as him, and usually when they are around people they become ‘shy’ whereas mine is completely the opposite.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Help Calm Her Hyperactive 3-Year-Old Son

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionHow can I get my toddler to calm down and listen?Wondering tricks and tips on how to get my super…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Sunday, May 3, 2020

Advice Summary

How Can I Get My Hyperactive 3-Year-Old to Calm Down and Listen?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“The ‘disrespect’ when people are around is probably him wanting your attention. Honestly it sounds like a fairly normal 3-year-old boy. At 3 most kids don’t want to play alone in their room… they want to be around other people.”

“May the odds be ever in your favor. They are going through a mental growth phase that they don’t understand how to express their emotions. Ride it out, talk to your kid about what they are feeling, and how they can show it. Just be patient; it gets better,, then gets worse again. These are tiny humans to don’t understand.”

“Make sure when you talk to him, to get on your knees and look him in the eyes and talk to him sternly, and let him know if he doesn’t listen he will be punished (whether you spank or time out).”

“Well, he’s three, And he is used to having you all to himself. Can you get him into a play group or part-time daycare? At three they do better with some socialization, but they’re still tough!”

“My son did exactly the same thing as yours. Whether he didn’t like to share me, wanted to be included, or was just showing off. His behaviour was extra bad when he new my attention was on someone else. Even if you’re embarrassed by how your child behaves! Deal with the bad behaviour then! Your company knows you have a kid so don’t go easy on them just because someone’s around.”

“Just be calm, consistent, and redirect him every time he’s doing something he shouldn’t be. Get down to his level and talk to him with eye contact, avoid trigger words like ‘no’ .. at the end of the day you’re the parent so don’t argue with a child. If you’re sending him to time out, only one warning and the next time it’s time out, calmly talk to him, explain why and 3 minutes (1 minute of time out per year of age) of quiet time you can let him out, hug him, tell him you love him and are proud of him…

… Guarantee with time, you’ll see less and less resistance from him. I have a hyperactive 4-yo and I learned a lot of this from his behavioral therapist. I hope my comment reaches someone who needs it. Remember it’s ok to be overwhelmed and to want time for yourself, sometimes we need a timeout just as much as our kids do.”

“Let me know when you figure this one out!!”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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