I Agreed to Do Something Uncomfortable with My Husband, but Now I Want Out: Any Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice. She agreed to do something uncomfortable with her husband, but now wants to back out. Her husband treats her very badly, so she tried to make him happy. However, she is so uncomfortable that she cannot follow through with her agreement. She just wants a happy marriage, and now doesn’t know what to do anymore. Any advice for this mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“I feel so lost. My husband treats me badly. My husband and I have been together since 2012. I have told him how I feel about being in threesomes. It makes me uncomfortable. He always tries to initiate them no matter what I say. I just don’t know what to do anymore; I can’t talk to anyone about it because the whole reason we got into this is that I finally agreed.

But every time we go anywhere, it feels like he is pimping me to his friends. We just adopted our baby, and I don’t want everyone to think that was the only reason I stayed with him. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t see he is doing anything wrong. I feel so stuck and have no one to talk to. I’m so lost. I know I should leave, but I don’t want to make my daughter’s life harder than it needs to be. I also have nothing to offer my daughter if I do leave. I’m screwed, and I know it, just pray for me, please. Any advice is welcomed. I just feel so helpless. I’m not trying to throw a pity party; I am really at a loss.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Uncomfortable and Hopeless

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary


Most commenters told this woman to get away from her husband. Even though she agreed to do something uncomfortable with her husband, she can still say no. One shared, “Go to a shelter. You can say no! You’re not a slave. Take your daughter and run.” Another agreed, “Tell him you don’t want a threesome anymore. You have the right to say no after you said yes. And if he can’t accept it then, go. Girl if he gets mad at you for not wanting to sleep with other people with him then take your child and run.”

Others agreed that she needs to leave, for her child’s sake. One said, “Don’t stay together for the child. Separate for the child.” Another agreed, “Your daughter will suffer if she grows up in a house where she has to see her mom be unhappy. People should never stay together for a child when a relationship is bad.” One commenter said, “Staying where you are will make life harder not only for you but your child as well. Leave now!”

Some commenters shared their personal experiences. One shared, “I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband. Always wanted to have threesomes, or have me go and sleep with other dudes and then come back to him. I continued to tell him, no, but he just kept pushing and I finally gave in. It destroyed me, us, everything.”

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