A mom writes in asking for advice. She doesn’t want her brother-in-law around while she recovers from giving birth. He lives in her home. Normally, she has no issues with him; however, she wants to be comfortable after giving birth. She wants to recover on her own time and not have to cover up while nursing if he is around. However, she doesn’t know how to ask him to leave or where he would go. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“I’ve come across a situation. My brother-in-law lives with my partner, our daughter, and me. I’m now 32 weeks pregnant with our second daughter. Now I have no issues with my brother in law. He keeps to his room like a child and only comes out when he wants food or his PlayStation is playing up. He pays rent and does the little number of chores I ask him too.
But, I’m eight weeks away from giving birth. I don’t want him in the house after I give birth for at least a week or two. because I know that’s it’s just going to be too uncomfortable for me. I don’t want to stress if I happen not to want to wear pants or no top after I’ve given birth.
My issue is, he has nowhere to go. He doesn’t have friends that have a place for him to crash. His sister already lives with my mother, and my father does not like him. So, he can’t stay with my mom for a week or so. He has absolutely nowhere, but I really don’t want him in the house. Any suggestions for what I should do?”
Community Advice for This Mom Worried About Being Uncomfortable
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Almost all the advice for this mom was the same. Everyone thought she was wrong for not wanting her brother-in-law home while she recovers from giving birth. One said, “He pays rent, then he has every right to be there. If you don’t want him there, pay for a hotel room for him if he is willing to go.” Another shared, “You can’t just toss him out because you’re having a baby.”
Some commenters understood how she felt, but still thought it was a bad idea. One commented, “It’s his house too. He lives there, pays rent, and keeps to himself. He has every right to be there. Now I can understand after having a baby being uncomfortable but seriously, not a good idea. He shouldn’t have to tiptoe around you.” Another agreed, “You should have thought of this months ago. I do get where you are coming from as l was in the same situation with my cousin living with us. But if he pays rent and isn’t in your face, then you shouldn’t kick him out.”
Others had suggestions for what she could do instead to help out instead of kicking out her brother-in-law while she recovers from birth. One suggested, “Just talk to him and let him know you are having doubts about your comfort level and set boundaries.” Another agreed, “Make part of your house off-limits at all times so you can relax and heal with your newborn. It’s natural to nest and want things just right for when the baby comes. But you can do this without rehoming your brother-in-law.” Another suggested, “Don’t charge him rent for a month and ask him to use that money to get a hotel room for that time.”
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