A mom writes in asking for advice. She is in desperate need of help toilet training her 7-year-old daughter all over again. She was potty trained when she was four years old and thought it wouldn’t be a problem again. Now, her daughter goes to the bathroom in her underwear unless she has to go a lot. Nothing this mom tries seems to be helping and she needs advice. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“I have a seven-year-old daughter and have been battling toilet training with her. She didn’t go to the potty until almost four years of age. We did not have any issues as soon as she got the hang of it, or so we thought. The past year I have thrown probably over 100 underwear away because she is still pooping in them. She does go in the toilet, but I feel like laziness has got the best of her.
She will urinate a little bit in her pants, and when she’s really gotta go, she goes to the bathroom. Same with pooping. She goes in her pants and then when she has to go a lot, she uses the toilet. I’m at my wit’s end and have no clue what to do anymore. Since she doesn’t care, I have even threatened to buy diapers. I talk nicely or sternly and neither works.
I’m crying all the time because I feel defeated. We’ve done charts and stickers and something fun with no success. I need some help. Her doctor didn’t provide much help or insight. So I’m desperate. I would like to remain anonymous, but I need help. I can’t afford to keep throwing underwear away. Nothing I buy or try works. I have also bought flushable wipes to help her clean better, and it seems like she just doesn’t care.”
Community Advice for This Mom Desperate for Help
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Most advice for this mom was very helpful. Many felt like there was a mental reason why she needed to toilet train her 7-year-old all over again. Lots of commenters shared similar experiences. One said, “My niece had this problem. Basically what the therapist said was she was reverting due to lack of stability. I would take her to a therapist and see if that helps you any.”
Another shared, “I’m not saying this is exactly what happened but think about who all she’s around. Younger kids who are being sexually abused tend to have this same problem. I was a victim myself at a young age. If she isn’t around anyone suspicious then I’d go to the doctor and see if there’s another underlying cause. Best of luck!” One commented, “I wonder if there are some emotional problems involved here. Take her to a child psychologist and see if there are underlying problems!”
Some felt like a doctor needed to be involved because there could be something wrong with her bowels. One said, “It could be she has a compacted bowel which would also explain the small amounts of urine. Try her on a high fiber diet.” Another agreed and said, “Sounds like something a doctor should be getting involved in. You probably have to pay close attention to her and stay on her. Maybe it’s an attention/emotional issue. I’d buy some diapers in the meantime.”
Others gave advice on how to toilet train her 7-year-old if there are no emotional problems. One suggested, “Trip train her. At specific times throughout the day, she’s to use the washroom and nothing will happen until she does. Turn the tv off, no electronics, nothing, until she goes to the bathroom.” Another said, “Give her something fun to do while going potty” while one commenter said, “Make her clean up herself and her underwear.”
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