A pregnant mom-of-three writes in looking for advice from single moms. She and her husband are splitting up due to emotional and verbal abuse. She is very scared about the future.
A Community Member asks:
“Single moms…how do you do it? I am 36 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I have decided to split up. The verbal and emotional abuse is too much for me to bear. I have recently found out that there has been infidelity, too, during my entire pregnancy. I would have left already, but I don’t have any family support. I don’t have anywhere to go to stay.
I have three children, and I’m going to be giving birth in a few weeks. He is and has been the breadwinner the five years that we’ve been together. Honestly, I’m scared to death of doing it alone, but at this point, it would be extremely unhealthy for the kids if I stayed in this cycle. Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, do you have any advice?”
Community Advice for the Pregnant Mom-of-3 Splitting from Her Husband
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this pregnant mom of three, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The moms were very supportive and encouraging for our pregnant mom-of-three. You can read some of their responses below.
“Sometimes I wish we could talk on a personal level with the people who ask for advice.”
“Reach out to a church or find a local YMCA they have places for women and their children to go to escape abusive relationships.”
“There is a lot of programs that will help you! It is hard being a single mom but it’s so worth it seeing your kids happy and healthy. And you need to take care of yourself too!“
“Did my whole pregnancy single with a 2 yr old it was so hard but nowhere near as hard and emotionally exhausting as being with someone who was emotionally abusive and put me down all the time. It actually feels so empowering doing it on ya own even on the tough days. I feed my kids, I mow my lawns, I pay my bills, I own everything in my home and I have a veggie patch.”
“I’m doing this now I’m a mom of 9 no job no money no family no help but I finally made him leave I start work 2mrow… the only thing is your about to give birth it will b almost impassable to get a job right now … it going to be hard but you can do it, anything is possible.”
“You just pick yourself up. You can do it. Start from scratch, ask wherever you live for good support in the area. You can do this, don’t give up!“
“What are the ages of the other kids? Sometimes making it through these situations is as simple as reaching out like you’re doing. You would be surprised at how many other females are in this same position and all it takes is finding one person who can relate. You may find someone in this same position that is looking for an escape… and willing to collaborate. *DO WHAT SCARES YOU MOST AND THAT IS HOW YOU WILL SUCCEED*“
A quote I heard once was, “never make a decision out of fear.” You made the decision to split up because you knew it was the best decision for you and your children. Fear could make you second guess yourself.
Being a single mom is a big undertaking, but many women have done it and are doing it while in very difficult situations. One community member shared that single parenting is much less stressful than being in an abusive relationship. I would agree, and I am sure many people would agree, especially women that have lived in those circumstances.
Look for the community programs that are in place to help. Ask questions, find support groups and online groups that can help you navigate these new waters. I think you will find you are stronger than you think.
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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