A mom writes in asking for advice about her daughter, who has been caught smoking weed multiple times recently. She says that she was caught smoking weed at school, and due to state law, she was taken to jail. But recently, this mom discovered her smoking weed again in the house and doesn’t know how to manage the situation.
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A member of the community asks:
“My daughter was caught smoking weed at school: What should I do?
Hi, I’m a mother of four. My oldest is soon to be 18. Before Thanksgiving, she was caught at school smoking weed. School tried notifying me but was unsuccessful, being that she blocked on the school numbers from my phone. So I never received the call or message. Being in the states we are in, she is considered an adult and was taken to jail. She was put in a special program at school. Kinda like in-school suspension. She brought her grades and attendance up.
Well, this evening I’m in the kitchen cooking, my younger ones in the living room watching a movie and she’s in the bathroom showering. So I thought… I go to the hallway, and what do I smell? Weed. She’s smoking in the bathroom. I’m livid. I don’t know what to do. How to punish her. I was a single mom for many years. So I can’t count on her father.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Daughter Was Caught Smoking Weed
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“One thing I can guarantee is that punishing her is not going to stop her. It’s going to make her be rebellious and sneak around and you don’t want that. I would try to sit down and talk to her. Maybe she is smoking for a specific reason. Try to be understanding and see if you can put some ground rules about smoking at home. Like smoking outside, only smoking at a specific time. Weed isn’t the worst thing in the world. It has a lot of benefits to it. And considering she is about to 18 there isn’t much you can do to stop her. So try to be understanding and open with her so she will be open with you .”
“Tell her not to do it in the house. She’s going to do it regardless so tell her that she can’t do it in your house and if she does it and gets caught you’re not bailing her out.”
“Tell her not to smoke in the house. Not much you can do to control it beyond that, she’ll be an adult soon.”
“Honestly she could be self-medicating. Have you tried talking to her about how she’s feeling and why she feels she needs to smoke it? Pot can be used for so many mental health disorders from anxiety and depression to helping with mood swings. Maybe come from a place of concern rather than disappointment or anger.”
“She’s an adult; set up house rules. Grounding her is useless. You push her away over cannabis? Don’t be silly.”
“Maybe make it clear that she’s an adult now. Yeah she can make her own choices, but now those choices have adult consequences. Not allowed at school, at work, etc. or law will be involved. And if it’s YOUR house, you don’t have to allow it there. She needs to know she can’t just be doing whatever whenever wherever. There’s rules.”
“I’m amazed that so many people find this a laughing matter because it’s “just weed.” What about the sneaking and the lying? Combine that with drugs and I’d say there is a serious problem.”
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