This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.
QUESTION: Should I Have to Ask My Husband to Do Simple Things He Should Do Without Being Asked?
“Am I ridiculous?? I got a new car yesterday, and my SO went with me this morning to pick it up. Before leaving to pick it up, the wipers were stuck on our other car because of snow and ice, and I said to him, ‘the wipers are stuck.’
He then responds saying ‘If you need my help, why don’t you just ask?’ He then fixes the wipers, and we go pick up the other car. When we get there, the same scenario with this car… wipers are stuck, and the windshield is covered in ice.
I let him know that it’s gonna take a while for the windshield to defrost, and he says, ‘Is there something you wanna ask me?’ So I said no and told him he could take the other car home. I feel like as my man, I shouldn’t have to ask him to clean my car off!!
As a man, you see it needs to be done, so why do I have to ask for your help?? What’s next, I’m gonna have to ask you if you can put salt down at OUR house and shovel OUR car out?!?! Am I wrong?? Do you ladies have to ‘ask’ your man to do these things?”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“If all I ever had to worry about was who tf was gonna unstick my windshield wiper… You have two hands. Do it yourself. He sounds annoyed with you… like the rest of us.”
“I wipe my own vehicle off. If its something I’m not able to do, I ask for help. But if they don’t know, you can’t expect hubby to know.”
“Geez. Just ask him if he could do it, if you aren’t going to do it yourself.Communication. People aren’t mind readers.”
“All I’m saying is my husband doesn’t have to ask me to wash his clothes or clean his house or cook his meals…. Everyone saying ‘you have two hands’ but none of you know how much this woman could already be doing for her man.”
“He’s not a mind reader and you’re not his mommy. You’re both wrong. You shouldn’t have to ask for obvious things, but you can’t expect him to always know what you want either.”
“Man oh man. As a woman I shouldn’t have to ask you to clean my car off!!! OKAY PRINCESS!! WTF!!! Serious issue! First and foremost YOUR CAR. Secondly, it needs to be done? Can you imagine if he acted like that if the dishes, house, laundry want to be done and was thinking the same thing? Both of you can do it not just him…
… Now you say our home our car so either of you can do it!! And not because you’re married means you don’t have to ask and now he has to cater to all your needs. You ask anyone anything you would like done as a favor. I never forget to say please or thank you to absolutely anyone that’s ESPECIALLY including my husband And my kids because I appreciate them and would like them to do the same.”
“I wipe my own car off. I don’t expect my husband to know what I want. I ask him to do stuff and he asks me. When it’s done I tell him thank you. Men aren’t mind readers.”
“Looks like your husband woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Yes, nobody is a mind reader, but a caring husband would just do it without being asked. Obvious things like that, I really don’t think you should have to ask.”
“Ummm. I don’t expect my man to just do things because I want him to. If he sees me get out and do it he comes and helps me or takes over. And if I really don’t want to I respectfully ask him. We are partners, he’s not my personal car slave. Just like I’m not his house slave, if I need help I ask or if he sees something that needs to be done he does it or asks me what to do w it. COMMUNICATION is key! If you’re getting mad about anything it should be the assumption he’s responsible and your inability to communicate what you want of him.”
Mamas Uncut is the place for moms online. We cover the latest news around motherhood and parenting, plus entertainment news as well – all with a mom-focused twist. Looking for parenting advice? We have plenty of it, all for moms, from moms. Our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for. We don’t stop there though, we have expert advice on a range of topics, and all of our categories get updated multiple times a day, so if there’s one website for moms you need to bookmark, it’s Mamas Uncut. We cover it all, from the latest and trendiest baby names, in the US and all over the world, to advice for moms in the workplace, or mom to mom advice on balancing it all. Looking for an answer to a specific question you’ve have? Head over to our new answers section, where you can ask questions on a nearly endless amount of topics, and you’ll get answers fast – really fast. Mamas Uncut is more than just the place for moms, it’s the community of moms – all here to help, make friends, and more. Not sure where to start? Take a look at one of our key topic areas like Pregnancy or Relationships – if you’re looking for advice on a specific topic, there’s a pretty good chance that we’ve already written on it (a few times), or that it’s within our answers section. If you don’t have time to read the site every day, we also have a newsletter that you can control how often you want to receive – that way we send all of the must-see content for moms directly to your inbox – it’s that easy. So go ahead and take a look around, ask a question, or just keep reading, we’re glad you’re here.