My Husband and I Decided We Are Done Having Kids: What’s the Best Next Step?

A mom writes in asking for advice about how to proceed now that she and her husband have decided they are done having kids. She says she is wondering if it would be better to get her tubes tied or if her husband should get a vasectomy. She wants to hear from other moms and parents who have had to make similar decisions.

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A member of the community asks:

“My husband and I decided we are done having kids: Advice?

My husband and I have decided we are finished having children. What we are indecisive about is if I should have my tubes tied or if he should get a vasectomy. Please share your experiences with this situation. Thank you!!”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Knows She’s Done Having Kids But Wonders What’s Better: Getting Her Tubes Tied or Having Her Husband Get a Vasectomy

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionMy husband and I decided we are done having kids: Advice?My husband and I have decided we are finished…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Sunday, May 3, 2020

Advice Summary

My Husband and I Decided We Are Done Having Kids: What's the Best Next Step?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“My hubs is getting a V. For us it was not taking something with a long list of side effects or tying tubes, which women I know have complained of severe cramping during menstruation after with the tubal. It also so seems weird to be all tied up lol. This was an agreement between us 100%. We are a little older and expecting in August which will make 3 living children, God willing. One of our kids is almost an adult so we will have 2 at home. We think that is enough for us.”

“When we were done, he had a vasectomy. 5 years later due to multiple uterine problems, mine was removed.”

“We are both done with kids. I’m 33 weeks and this will be our last. 6 kids is more than enough. He got his vasectomy done & in the clear and I’ll try again for the tubal ligation after this pregnancy”

“I had my tubes tied. 9 years later I was rushed into the ER. They told me they didn’t know what was wrong but my blood pressure was 34 and if I believed, to say my goodbyes and pray. I would pass out and I remember they said, we can’t wait. I was prego and it burst. God was with me because I should have died, I was told that then and so many times since. Over a liter and half of internal bleeding. 1 year later, prego again. Last year because of all the pain they thought I had cancer. The oncologist did the surgery and found it it was scar tissue from the pregnancies. I had been in so much unexplained pain for years, l even in pain management. They had to take so much of my body, I am 89 lbs heavier. My husband has had a vasectomy, it’s not near as invasive. I am not an unheard situation.”

“Go with both. That way you don’t have to worry about a reversal AND you’re both taking charge of your sexual representation. It shouldn’t be just on one of you to get fixed.”

“My boyfriend is going to get a vasectomy after I give birth. He decided that himself. We only want one kid, but if we decide we want another one, we will adopt. He wants to get a vasectomy.”

“Get him done; it’s quicker and done in a day, then home.”

“We decided vasectomy. It was easier recovery for him and easy that way because 2 little ones and him working nights, and for me recovery would have been rough.”

“We felt the same, so my hubby got a vasectomy because he felt I have done enough and been through enough with pregnancies and births. He just went to the doctor’s office and in 20 min it was done. You have to make sure he gets his sperm tested after so that you’re in the clear. You guys decide what’s best for you though.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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