When a wife cheated on her husband, she got pregnant. For all of the pregnancy, the wife’s husband believed the child was his, not knowing about his wife’s affair.
However, things got messy when the baby girl was born and revealed herself as biracial, telling the husband that the baby couldn’t be his. The wife later admitted to being unfaithful. “We’re both white, so she was forced to admit that the child was a result of a one night stand last year,” the husband wrote in his original Reddit post.
Husband Concerned Over Sons’ Relationship With Half-Sister Conceived During Wife’s Affair
After learning about his wife’s affair, the husband began the process of getting a divorce and he also got paternity tests for his two sons, who are four and two years old. Those tests came back positive.
“Naturally I have no ill will towards the baby, and I’ve been disgusted by some of the comments I’ve heard from family members, friends, coworkers, and others, all who seem to be fixated on the racial angle of this. As if the most salient part of this isn’t that my wife cheated, but that she cheated with a BLACK man and that the baby is BLACK.”
In his Reddit post, the husband said he’s nervous that their two sons will pick up on the hateful rhetoric as they get older and grow up “resenting their half-sister for ‘breaking up their parents’ marriage.'” Because, despite everything that went on between him and his wife, he wants his boys to have a good relationship with their sister. And the last thing he wants is for his boys to grow up racist.
After asking for help on how to make sure their families don’t influence their boys, the husband took to Reddit again to write a second post. “The big takeaway for me was that if I need to lead by example here, not excluding her in any way because of her paternity so that she and my sons would see her as a full member of the family.”
He also said he now knows he has to address the bigotry from his family head on to show his boys’ that what they are saying and doing is wrong. Thankfully, his boys seem to be handling everything well, however, his wife is not.
“My wife OTOH isn’t in good shape at all. She was depressed even before the birth, and now with everything- our divorce, her infidelity being revealed and the backlash from family and friends, PPD, and the exhaustion from raising an infant- she’s barely functional. She’s seeing a therapist, and I’ve been pressuring some of our family and friends to be supportive of her because even if they think she deserves it her current state is making it harder for me and our children.”
Due to her financial instability, the husband admits that he has come to terms with the fact that they’ll be living together even after the divorce is finalized as a result. And because she can’t contact the baby girl’s father, being that she was conceived during a one night stand, the husband is considering adopting the baby girl.
“As for the baby girl, she’s healthy and fairly easy by baby standards. Since I’ve been helping care for her, I’ve bonded with her and I’ve discussed the possibility of adopting her with my wife. She can’t contact the father, as the only thing she knows about him is his first name.”
But after learning that there may be a way to contact the biological father via ancestry, the husband admitted to being upset about it. “I’ve already started to think of the baby girl as my daughter, and having him in our lives would massively complicate the family dynamic. Plus we live in Seattle and she met him in Philadelphia, so god knows how they’d even make it work if he wanted to be the kid’s father.”
However, he realizes that is selfish and wants the little girl to have the best life possible regardless of who the father-figure in her life is. “If we have a chance of finding her biological father we owe it to her do so,” he said. Wow.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.