A mom writes in looking for advice on how to make time for her significant other when they co-sleep.
A Community Member asks:
“Any parents cosleep? How do you make time with your SO in the bedroom when the baby sleeps in your bed for naps and night time?”
Community Advice for the Mom Looking For Ways to Make Time for Her Significant Other When They Co-Sleep
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Many of the responses about co-sleeping were very similar. You can read some of these below.
“That’s why we don’t co-sleep. It’s our us time. We have 5 kids.“
“We co-slept until they fell asleep and then we put them in their beds so that we would have our time together.“
“I never co-slept, I have 5 kids, they were always with me during day and they had a bed/ a room all set up. I like my space and me time. So they were always in a routine and went to bed by 730.”
“As far as sexy time with having kids in the house you learn how to become creative and do it whenever you can.”
“All you folks posting about co-sleeping it’s like the number one rule of being a mama. As hard as it is, you are going to be the same ones 6 or 7 years from now saying, how do I get my seven-year-old out of my bed.”
“I refuse to have kids in MY bed. I did it with my first child, never again. It’s the only space that is mine and my bfs. I have 4 children. Once they sleep through the night which it varied on when that happened but then it’s off to their own room. My 1-year-old currently sleeps in my room in his crib because he still doesnt sleep solidly. So that leaves my bed free, but there are other places that are used just because.“
“Our daughter will be 4 in April and we’re expecting our second baby beginning of May and we still periodically cosleep with our first. We still get intimate often throughout the week but it isn’t always in our bed lol the spare bedroom, couch, bathroom, pretty well anywhere that is out of sight from our daughter and the windows lol.”
In my experience, co-sleeping has its benefits, but also it has its cons. I only had my babies in my room until they were about 3-4 months old, and I always had them in their bassinet in between feeds.
One benefit is that it can make feeds easier. Knowing you can just pick them up to feed them, change diapers, etc. without leaving the room. Also being able to see them while they sleep and watch them breathe in those early months can make sleeping easier.
Cons: Having them in your bed affects your time spent with your significant other. The nights have always been the time my husband and I talk, catch up on the day’s events. It’s an opportunity to unload and express our fears and worries. I love spending time with my children, but as a couple, you need to have time for each other. Nights are when you get that time uninterrupted.
If you plan to co-sleep just find time in other ways. Take a weekend every month to spend alone. Maybe try to put the baby down in a different room and when they wake in the night they come into your bed. Just whatever you do, don’t neglect your relationship with your SO.
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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