A mom writes in asking for advice after she believes her fiancé’s 5-year-old son is being abused by his biological mother. But because they don’t get along, she’s at a loss as to what to do next. Now she’s asking anyone who went through a similar experience if they can give her any advice.
A member of the community asks:
“My fiancé has a 5-year-old little boy, and we have a 4-month-old little girl together. His son’s mom has been awful towards me ever since we got together. She’s threatened me and harassed me. She blamed me for my father’s death, threatened my life, and told me she hoped I miscarried.
At the time, I was living across the country and just recently moved to where my fiancé lives. Long story short, I believe she’s abusing her son. My fiancé currently has 50/50 custody with her. We get his son half the week. Almost every time we get him he’s either sick or covered in bruises. He can’t explain (I think he’s scared to) and lately he’s been losing a lot of weight. He’s only 28 pounds at five years old and fits into 3t. Our 4-month-old is almost half that, and she was three pounds at birth.
Anytime he comes to us; he’s starving. I make home-cooked meals every night, and every time he eats as fast as possible and always thanks me. It could be the most straightforward meal, and he’ll just go nuts and woof it down like he hasn’t eaten in days. We’ve tried asking him what he eats while he’s at his mom’s and he tells us he doesn’t know. He’s voiced to us before that his aunt (14 years old) has hit him before. Not only that, but there has already been a CPS case on his mother for locking him in a room, barely feeding him as an infant, and hitting him previously.
My fiancé has been trying for years now to get custody, and ever since I’ve been with him, she’s just got worse. Has anyone gone through something similar, and does anyone know how to go about getting full custody in a case like this? We already contacted CPS, and they said they couldn’t do anything unless we went to a doctor, and they said he was malnourished. But his mom refuses to give us any of his medical info even with him being sent to us sick all the time. I just don’t know what to do at this point. Also, we’re in California, if that helps any.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Thinks Fiancé’s Son Is Being Abused By His Mom
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Those who offered advice said document everything. One commenter wrote, “Continue to date and document EVERYTHING!! Take him to the ER and they will help you in a second! They don’t play games. Poor little boy. It breaks my heart hearing these kinds of stories but I’m glad you’re willing to help. Just don’t wait any longer.”
Another person added, “Take him to a doctor. Dad should have his health cards while the child is in his care…so you guys must take him to a doctor. If he is always sick when he comes to you, why haven’t u taken him to a doctor? Can you file for emergency custody? Talk to the doctor about your concerns and the doctor will check him to see what he finds. Get a lawyer too. That little guy needs help in my opinion.”
And one other said, “Next time he comes to your house sick, call family service and tell them he sick and that mom refuses to give you his medical information to take him in.”
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