It’s time for another round of our favorite game: “Am I the A**hole?” The latest entry comes from a Reddit community member and divorced mom-of-two who doesn’t love the idea of having her kids every weekend.
“My ex-husband and I share custody of our 10-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son,” she begins. “Recently, the kids said they want to try splitting up on the weekends, so instead of both of them being with one of us during the weekend, one will go with dad and one will be with me.”
Is This Mom the “A**hole” for Not Wanting Her Kids Every Weekend, Instead Preferring Some Alone Time?
While in theory, the mom and OR nurse sees that this will cut down on squabbles and give some much-needed one-on-one time with the kids, she can’t quite get on-board with letting go of her solo time.
“I do not want to give up my free weekends. It took me a few months to get used to not having my kids all the time after the divorce but now my weekends without them are filled with activities or travel.”
When she presented this predicament to her family, she received some harsh feedback.
“I was talking to my family about this at breakfast this morning and they are all kind of appalled by me not wanting to do this. My sister pointed out that if I was still married, then I wouldn’t have all the child free time I have now and many mothers don’t get a break from their kids like I do. My mom said she can’t believe I’d deny my children quality time with their parents for selfish reasons like not wanting to give up my weekends.”
She went on to ask the community, “AITA?” to which she received mixed responses.
Many were quick to point out that this time is fleeting and she should step up to the challenge of having kid-time each weekend. Others said cool it with the shaming and that she should advocate for her alone time.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: My Ex Wants to Sign Over Rights for Our Child: Should I Do It?
The top comment on the post reads, “YTA [You’re the A**hole]. “I know it feels great to have your time alone but you decided to have your kids and they need to feel loved by you. It is sad that you’d prefer to do things on your own and not have obligations. Not gonna lie, it would make me really sad if my mom told me this. You just have to make do with the time that you do have and take into consideration your ex’s schedule when planning stuff.”
“NTA [Not the A**hole],” begins the top-rated comment in support of this mom’s desire to have some alone time. “Wanting one weekend out of two to yourself is not the same as not wanting to have obligations period. I don’t think it’s fair to shame someone with a full-time job and who seems like a good mother because she wants a few weekend days out of the month free.”
What do you think? Is this mom wrong for wanting some alone time even if it means she won’t see her kids every weekend?
Katie Nave Freeman is freelance writer, producer, and mama living in Brooklyn, New York. Driven by her passion for storytelling, she is always seeking opportunities to elevate people who are working to better the world around them.