A mom writes in asking for advice about her ex with whom she shares a son. She says her ex reached out and asked her to watch their son, she said yes, but instead, he reached out to the OP’s mom. The OP is estranged from her mother and doesn’t want her watching their son without supervision due to a history of drug abuse and other issues. Predictably, things did not go well, and her son ended up getting bitting by her mom’s dog. How can she lay down the law?
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A member of the community asks:
“My ex lets my mom watch our kid and I don’t want her too: Advice?
So my ex asked me a while ago if I could watch our son (on his days) during the day while he was at work a couple of days a month, and I said “I’d love to” but he went and asked my mom to do it instead.
My mom abandoned my sister and me when we were kids, and is a recovering drug addict; she still makes awful choices, still chooses men over her kids. Anyways, my ex knows all of this and knows I don’t really trust her or want her watching our son without supervision.
Well, today supposedly, my son tried to put the leash on her tiny dog, and the dog got scared and bit his face. My mom’s dog’s mouth is about the size of a penny fully opened; she’s a small dog. But he has scratch marks all over his face, and it looks like he was smacked in the face, and I am livid. Can I tell him that she’s not allowed to watch him anymore?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Ex Asked Her Estranged Mom to Watch Their Son, Resulting in Disaster
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Why is it okay for small dogs to bite and break skin? If it was a large dog, that type of aggression would have the dog put down, but because the dog is tiny, the same aggressive behavior is overlooked.”
“It’s your mother so you most definitely can. If he doesn’t listen and you suspect shes abusing him, call DFS.”
“First off do you have a parenting order stating anything? Most parenting orders state the other parent has the first right of refusal … meaning if other parent needs a sitter, the opposite parent has to be asked first. Doesn’t matter if on his time or not.”
“Document everything and communicate that it is not acceptable given her drug history and dog biting your child.”
“You need a court order stating shes not allowed to watch him, and I’d get a police report for the dog bite.”
“Take photos for evidence! And you have every right to say no if you feel your child is in danger!”
“What about a first right of refusal? My boyfriend has that with his ex and if either one is away from his daughter for longer than 3 hours during their time then the other parent has first right to have the child before the other parent can find somebody else to watch her.”
“Why don’t you tell her that she isn’t allowed to have him? I mean it’s your mom, you can tell him, but go straight to her and tell her, I would honestly be calling the police if my child was attacked in the face by a dog and then smacked in the face by an adult.”
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