A mom writes in asking for advice about her toddler, whom she describes as “a terror.” This single mom says that her 3-year-old refuses to listen, torments the family pets, says bad words, and has been very mean. She feels like she has tried everything and is out of ideas, so she has turned to the Mamas Uncut community of moms for help.
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A member of the community asks:
“My toddler has been a terror: Thoughts?
Can you post for me, please? My son will be 3 in a month. I know he’s out of his routine with daycare being closed and me being at home with him all the time. I’m also a single mom. But I literally feel like I’m at my wit’s end. He refuses to listen. He torments our animals. He’s been saying bad words and just being plain mean. I’ve tried talking, I’ve tried yelling, I’ve tried time out, I’ve tried spanking. Nothing is working and I’m losing my mind. He’s usually such a sweet boy. Any advice?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Dealing with a ‘Terror’ Toddler
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Hug him. He is feeling overwhelmed and needs to feel safe. I’d also implement a reward system for something he likes, be it sweets, a show, or whatever. Try bringing in some semblance of routine or structure to the day if it will help him.”
“It’s unfortunately normal and kids respond to different forms of discipline. I can’t really advise one that will work, but I will say you need to remain consistent. Can’t be jumping between time outs and talks to spankings and yelling back to talking and time outs. The discipline should remain consistent. I’m not advocating for or against spankings. Do not comment on my response if you’re just going to talk about “how awful spanking is,” or “its the only thing that works.” Attempting to remain unbiased in my responses.”
“Bad points: he’s learned swear words from somewhere as they don’t know words till we teach them. Do not spank a little boy; for one thing, he is so tiny and you’re big compared to him, plus it only teaches him to hit. Good points: he sounds like one of those kids that has to be active and have attention constantly otherwise it deteriorates. Keep him busy painting, drawing making collages, hide and seek, dancing, rhymes. Take your one hour if you’re in the U.K. and take his scooter, burn off energy. Have a routine for him. He might fight you, but it’s best to ignore bad behaviour, say no and then distract him with something and keep the high energy up. It’s tiring being on it constantly, but not as tiring as having battles with him all day. Has he any speech delay? Remember just try your best that’s all you can do.”
“Whatever you do, be consistent. Good luck sweetie.”
“Part of it is just his age. 3-year-olds are in a weird phrase. They are not babies but, not quite big kids. Just be consistent and love him.”
“He’s bored, not bad. Get his brain busy and his hands will follow…”
“I know it’s hard mama, but consistency is key. You’ll need to get on his level, put your hands in his shoulders, and get him eye level so he has to focus on you. Keep your words short and simple, and repetitive. He needs constant redirection at this age. You’ve got this, this time doesn’t last long unless you let it get out of control and then it’s harder to correct as he ages.”
“My daughter is going through terrible twos and I’m sure you’ll get a lot of alternatives and distraction advice but I just want to let you know it’s normal and to stay strong (and consistent), follow more mom pages to see what you’re going through is normal, and what we all are going through. Patience, deep breaths, and consistency.”
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