A mom writes in concerned that her boyfriend might try to take their son away to another state while she works.
A Community Member asks:
“Question. I am not married, and my boyfriend and I just had a pretty bad breakup. He threatened to take my son and go back to Arizona. Can he legally take him from me if I was at work? He is on the birth certificate. We are in Illinois if that helps. I don’t know what to do.“
Community Advice for the Mom Worried About Her Boyfriend Taking Their Son Away From Her and Out of the State
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom, read the comments of the post embedded below.
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“In Louisiana, he could if he is on the birth certificate and there’s no custody agreement. He can take your son and not tell you where they are and you would have to file for custody, but like I said that’s in Louisiana.“
“He can and he doesn’t have to allow any contact either he can take that baby and run! As long as your with the child he can’t but he can release of custody from anyone other then bio mom so if he’s at daycare or school he can take the kid and run! Legally police will not do anything.”
“I left the state with my daughter. The first time I didn’t need permission, but once we got a court order I needed his written permission.”
“My advice is, go file for custody full once Monday comes around and don’t let him near the kid till y’all go to court. Don’t risk it . He can take him and never look back.”
“Check your laws but in Alabama NO, your boyfriend cannot take your child. You are the mother and you are the primary parent. Don’t matter if his name is on the birth certificate or not.“
“Yes in the state of Illinois if there is no custody agreement then both of you have the legal right to have the baby.“
“I don’t know if radius has anything to do with it, like taking him out of state, I’ve never heard that and I honestly do not think it’s true if anything it only means that it will be harder to get him back but the answer is yes. Unless you have a custody agreement, which I’m assuming you do not, then he can take him and there is nothing you can do until it happens.“
The best advice is to check your state laws to see if your boyfriend can legally take your son. You can talk with a lawyer or check online. I was able to find some information from a lawyer’s website regarding the Illinois Law on child custody. You can look into this further, which I highly recommend.
A statement made on this lawyer’s website was, “Under Illinois law, married parents have joint residential and legal custody of a child born of the marriage while they are married. With unmarried parents, the mother has sole legal and residential custody of the child until a finding of paternity is made and the father petitions the court for some form of custody.”
In situations like this, I would act quickly to protect yourself. Even though your boyfriend may not legally be able to take your son out of state, he could try.
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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